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My Heart Doesn't Beat the Same

Poetry By: Coralie

That one who got away, the love who walked right out of your life and you wonder about....
Something that I think people can relate to, even just a little bit.

Submitted:Nov 7, 2012    Reads: 84    Comments: 4    Likes: 5   

Remember sneaking out a night?
With an artillery of broken lies
Any amount of trouble was worth it
To get to see your deep blue eyes.
Pull me in a warm embrace
As I try to chase away bitter thoughts,
Despite our past,
I'd rather be in no other place.

So many things about you push me away
And I'm so flighty,
I would never permanently stay
But for you as my first love,
My first kiss,
You would never care about any of the above
As long as I weren't someone
You would have to miss.

If I were to think about it
Then I shouldn't be sad
Because for great lengths of time
The both of us were mad.
Getting angry so often,
Bringing weapons into the equation,
To be in love with you
Was never a vacation.

But you know, I would do it all again,
Even if we could only be friends.
That would be better than what we are now
When we have to pretend.

With lips so soft
And shoulders hunched over from the cold,
Blocking away the outside,
Repeatedly saying how much you loved me
Could never get old.
You were something so wonderful,
But always chose to hide.
I'd never have thought before,
Of all people,
I was your lover.

It's hard to look back
At the haze of our summers,
In fact, the past two years,
Funny enough, a solid relationship
Was a code we could not crack.
But I regret nothing
From the time that was spent,
No matter what you could ever do
Or say to me,
You've always been heaven-sent.

A burning sensation crosses my face
Anytime I think about what you did,
Sometimes it's so hard to let go
When there are scars everywhere on me,
In every single way,
Recounting each moment but sinking back
Into my mind without a trace.

Now I watch you forget the days
Where I could cheer you
When no one else could,
And the nights wasted away,
Talking on the phone for hours
Laughing our asses off,
Sometimes crying, too.

You go to another woman
Erasing all past emotions,
But here I am, remembering all previous
Plans, thoughts, and devotions.
Do you still think about
Our ongoing joke,
Of getting married and running away,
Thoughts of it make my breath choke.

Did you ever understand
That I was more than serious
About you being the one for me?
Did you know that with
Each and every reprimand
A little piece of my heart would
Build up a wall that you could never see?

It's hard to imagine,
You kissing her,
When of all the men in the world,
You were the one I prefer.
If you count me at all
In your list of girls
Would I even make a dent
In your life,
Of all of your time spent?

Being with you was something I could never replace
No matter what I say,
You've always been held in a special place.
Without you here, my heart doesn't beat the same.
For my sorrows, no cure could ever
Wipe those hopeless wishes and tears away.
Some things don't go as planned,
But now I know
If I could take a journey back in time,
Being in your arms is the place I would go.


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