Allowed

Allowed

Five o'clock this morning,

I drag me out of bed.

Once again I'm yawning,

As thoughts race ‘round my head.

Yeah, I read my poem.

I fraught, but it went well.

Flawless did I show them?

They heard my old cracked bell.

Against my house of fears,

My ego huffed and puffed.

Not crumbled into tears,

I'm grateful and I'm chuffed.

Now that it's recovered,

Old ego wants to say:

"You left me uncovered.

I blew them all away."

He wants all the credit:

"Forget Higher Powers!"

I watch him in debit; 

Send him to the showers!

I brought my delusions,

Tempered by my stammers

Felt a few contusions

From my sack of hammers

Hangman, Judge and Jury?

I know I don't have two.

Mantra: What? Me worry?

We all had a laugh too.

I can't find words to say:

Warm and fuzzy feeling?

Acceptance... friends... a day...

Different... and appealing.

In truth, ease and comfort

Came back a little bit.

But, not in pint or quart;

No longer in that shit.

At the end of the day...

I will not hide or run;

I drank... a bold new way:

Adrenalin... and fun.