There’s a sleepy in my eye.
There’s a bogie up my nose;
There's toe-jam 'twixt me toes.
My sunburn always peels.
Got dandruff on my lap.
Got blisters on my heels,
More fun than bubble-wrap.
Pinching pimples is a daily chore.
It’s blackheads I can’t handle.
If you part my ear-hair,
You’ll find enough wax for a candle.
Those are things that you might see.
Imagine in my pants . . .
Yellow stains; I hope it’s wee . . .
And boils, you’d fear to lance.
My pubes host a menagerie . . .
Crustaceans large and small,
Enough yeast for a boulangerie.
I cannot tell you all.
I’m lousy and disgusting;
A far cry from seductive.
My oozing and my crusting: