There's a Sleepy in My Eye

There’s a sleepy in my eye.

There’s a bogie up my nose;

There's toe-jam 'twixt me toes.

.

My sunburn always peels.

Got dandruff on my lap.

Got blisters on my heels,

More fun than bubble-wrap.

.

Pinching pimples is a daily chore.

It’s blackheads I can’t handle.

If you part my ear-hair,

You’ll find enough wax for a candle.

.

Those are things that you might see.

Imagine in my pants . . .

Yellow stains; I hope it’s wee . . .

And boils, you’d fear to lance.

.

My pubes host a menagerie . . .

Crustaceans large and small,

Enough yeast for a boulangerie.

I cannot tell you all.

.

I’m lousy and disgusting;

A far cry from seductive.

My oozing and my crusting: