What do you want sir, what do you desire?
All I can offer you is brimstone, hellfire
Pull up a seat and lean against the bar
A whiskey on the house, for you must have come so far
What do you want sir, what do you require?
Perhaps a pint of rum judging by your attire
Don't try to run for your senses I will thwart
Sit back, relax, let me grate against your thoughts
Glancing around there is nothing to observe
The devil in your drink he gives to you some verve
Open up your heart sir, the barman's ears are open
Want my advice; only fix it if its broken
Have another drink mate, swig it long and slow
Did she break your heart, or deal the final blow?
It may have just got better, for a grin is on your face
Listen to a secret, that drink's your saving grace
There's no point in thinking, it drums on you like rain
The thoughts running round could drive a mad man sane
You may think it weird that you find yourself here
But that's beside the point, please, have another beer.
You may want to shout it, or scream out your problem
I think only we can possibly solve them
The demon on your left is lending you his ear
The angel on your right may like a Tia Maria
It seems to me you have no faith, it rests on broken glass
If you have another gin, the trouble she may pass
Don't listen to snide remarks, ignore the chiming clocks
The cure to a hangover is whiskey on the rocks
You haven't got a problem, it's the world that's in the wrong
To me your more than just a pawn, they're dancing to your song
I'll tell you when you've had enough, for that is my new rule
Let me say its for your good, For kind is to be cruel
Do you think it strange everything that I've said?
Perhaps it has helped or filled your heart with dread.
We all must admit that I've set a new pace
Do you accept that this bar's your saving grace?
Have another drink sir; your mind must be weary
Luckily enough my patrons love you dearly.
Just one more drink sir, swig it long and slow
Now that you're here you'll never want to go.