It seems... I must be doing great. (personal poem)

I must be doing great

I must be doing well

My smile shows

The happiness within comes out

I have to be doing great

Because no one knows

Everyone knows the real me

Not everyone knows the me at home

I must be doing well

My laughs are ringing in every ones’ ears

My heart is shown

But not my full heart

My secrets

Held within

The crying nights

The nights I’m alone

The times when I feel no one cares

My faith is so high

But I feel

I need God

But I also need my parents

Where have they gone

Have I really ever had them

The people that know

Think my parents are bad

That I should just walk out

They are amazed

How high I stand

How strong I am

They are amazed

That my smile keeps shining

School being my safe place

I can be what I want

I can be me

They don’t know

I have a fear

So much fear

I don’t trust

For what has happened

I can’t trust fully

I say sorry at least twenty times a day

I always think I’m doing something wrong

Everything I did was wrong

So if I keep this secret

Could it be wrong?

Another thing to apologize for

Or another thing to actually believe I need help

I don’t want help

But should I finally give in

Those secrets held within

Running around in my soul

Running in my mind

How worn my body must be

But I will never let it fall

Therefore, I must be doing well

Everyone knows me

Now they know me so much more

The crying nights

So alone

My smiles still show

Yes, my smiles still show

I must be doing great