DCLXVI ROCK IV
"She doesn't have a grave. Graves are for the gods.
Her corpse dismembered, burned her corpse,
it has been thrown in wells, bottomless holes,
it has been raped and cut and eaten all,
by humans, deities and long damned ghosts...
Her black abyssal hair and her ideal white skin,
her eyes and lips and fingers without rings...
her heart for which I still don't know...
Was it there? Was it not?”
>I keep going. And with the pressure of the everlasting vision crashing my being, watching nightmares and dreams all along the way, hundreds of them, all mixed, all simultaneously... I see a light. I see a white shore. It sparkles all. There are creatures like birds around, a Lady. And in the newborn horizon, a huge Stairway of light and darkness... fading in the endless distance to the end of the world -I have no idea how I knew it was the end of the world. I think I dreamed of it. I think it came naturally, the thought, the information, to me. I simply knew...
The songbirds sung an old song.
My memory reminded me of what it was.
I then remembered its lyrics, and its music, and its lords.
And the Lady smiled.
“Everything will be fine, as you now can see...
and the trees, and the wind, and the road, and the shadows and the gold.
You can hear pipers... you can see whispers...
this is my forest near the Stairway... can you let me know?
Does any bell toll in your spirit? Can you sing their song?”
And my voice back was given with a pain, my toll.
And if I could bleed, I would bleed.
But thankfully I could not.
Before I could speak, though, she placed her finger on her lips.
A white line in front of blood crimson.
And then a smiling red line,
Under two eyes unreal, under two eyes perfectly divine.
“Over there, over those hills, you see the Stairway waiting for long.
In my sky, my dark tearful thole, you see the Child in Time saying ‘hello’.
You can view the rainbows and their catchers... right there, over the crossroads before The Wall.
So, witnessing that, man unknown, will you stay, or shall you abscond?”
>Said I, in pain...
“Oh, fairy... I don’t understand nothing at all.”
>And there she smiled again and my non-existent eyes would be tearful.
“You humanly wish to cry, and I promise you’ll soon will...
But only if this place you will to leave behind,
and as mortal again live, following your duty as our rhapsodos.
So do you wish to live again? Do you wish to again die?
Will you... do you... long still to come back to life?
If so, tormented, this is thee chance. Grab it now, or let it pass...”
>My body I imagined in some grave. My flesh and bones and blood remains, the rotting.
“Oh, fairy... I can’t decide.”
“You worthless creature, of course you can.
You are human. You are dead. You are a fool and you understand.
And even if in the fields of some paradise would you stand,
again I think you would choose the same human-like end.”
>Did I wake up or ever slept? It all looked dreamy that moment those things she said. I woke up a million times and slept again, and then came by, another wake. In space-less fields at last I was laid and likewise slept again. That time was the last and in my dream, the fairy laughed and spoke to me. She said things I never understood and things painful to my heart.
“You may now go, I saw your choice.
Up the Stairway now you’ll go.
Greet the space and the deities below,
greet the Child, the crossroad man, the wall.
Admire the rainbows and try to catch one, why not?
Oh, I wish you were here trust my wish,
but you have to go back, you want it too...
Remember. Now, break on through!”
>And in the nightmare, in the dream, to the dreamy Stairway I proceed. And as I break nightmarish barriers unseen, I wake up again and that was it. I dive up, and up I sink. I go down and down I fall. And here I am. And here I was. No time was then, but now it was. I feel so sane, yet mad and blind. There are deep wound inside my mind. I cannot lie, I just cannot. There are some images that in my senses I hold. There is the Lady and there is the Muse. There is the Child and the crossroads. The rainbows’ are still way too fresh, while the wall’s touch I merely feel. And again, no one would forget that Arcady.
DCLXVI ROCK IV