To the Unseen Deity

I want to feel you

    because I can,

    but you're not real.

 I know when you're next to me.

I can feel your presence,

    smell your scent,

    sense your soul.

Sometimes I feel that

    I need you,

    talk to you,

    hold you,

    love you,

    but are you really there?

Sometimes my feelings

    overwhelm me

    and I lust you,

    your mind,

    your body,

    your spirit,

    will I ever?

My longing starts to kill me.

I can almost feel you,

    running your hands

    through my hair,

    my body,

    my soul.

    Can you do that?

If I could touch you once,

    and hold that moment...

If I could see your spirit,

    and join you...

If I could take your mind,

     and fuck it...

     Would that be real?

I see you now and you're real.

You get closer and I love you.

Sometimes I despise you,

    for I close my eyes

    and you're there;

    but when I open them

    you slowly disappear.

----2001----