Is A Row About Now?
When you’ve just had a spat
Ask, why did I react?
Was it about what the other said?
Or the prewired response in my head?
Are you angry at what they did?
Or is it about you, that flipped your lid?
Whatever someone else has done;
It’s your past that leaves you undone.
We all have needs to satisfy;
Under the surface there they lay. (lie)
Auto responses surge to protect;
Reactions ensue we do not elect.
Take a deep breath and contemplate;
What is it this other needs to relate?
And what is it that I really hate?
Why have I locked and bared my gate?
Whilst not always, a row has historic place;
Some other time; your fears have been laced.
How you react to threat is defence;
At that time, reason is in suspense.
When two modes of defences collide;
Behind subconscious truths we hide.
We know we can’t have it all our own way;
But when danger is high cognition is in decay.
Don’t listen to the word you are both baying;
Listen to what you both really are saying.
Look beyond the anger and into the past;
Try to find the true reasons to grasp.
You cannot avoid every argument coming;
But self-knowing helps calm what you are discussing.
Look with empathy at your adversary;
And at yourself with integrity and honesty.
A Poem by Dibs in the style of Obi (Joe Attanesio)