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taken from my book, "Hotwired Thoughts"


Submitted:Sep 10, 2011    Reads: 4    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


"Jane"

-

Useless images of my starting a rap battle

__with who ever would read this

____if I posted this on your wall

Even still goes on in my head

But I ain't down for spoken word

Not able to face confrontation

__with my Inferiority Complex

Paranoias of me winding up dead

Crawls into my future

I put up with letting myself talk to you

Long after reading how you dumped yo man

It was fucked up

I know I'm not next

__so I don't give a fuck

We just friends right?

We don't even gotta keep it tight

You can live in your world

__way off in the desert

While I stay in La La Land

__poppin' pills to stay focused

I gotta medicate

Yeah

Every morning, every night

Don't ask me why

I did some things in life

__that forced a shrink

____into my life

Into my mind, too

But it gave me money

Got no job

And no college degree

So I'll never afford the transportation

__to be where you'll ever be

Which is

Far away from me

You couldn't possibly keep me

__a secret and come to me

Ever promise to keep our

__friendship worry free

Your ex would want me dead

Eventually

Whatever I did for the world

__to call me crazy

____is none of your concern

I'm not proud of it

And repeating the knowledge

__to anybody

____will never work

It's something I should be dead for

And I'll admit that

So I'm scared for my life

Which is made up of art

I only wanna put it all on line

Before my time is come

Adding association like we already have

Just sparks a fear

Diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia

On top of Dissociative Identity Disorder

Another me is Bi-Polar Type 1

Another has Schizotyple Personality Disorder

And the hoste?

What else?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

And what's worse?

We each got more wrong with us

__than I've said so far

But I'm having fun

I love what I've done

Miss who I've had

But love never comes back

It sure ain't for me

It just never lasts

Right now I'm in love

With a grocery store clerk

Who prob'ly don't know

And is probably wearing

A ring on her finger

But has not been working

__at the latest times I've been there

But do I care?

Of course!

I have to look for that ring

Or I'll never know if she is

Already taken

And she'll bother thru all 4 of my minds

Like wanting to eat bacon

I always thought

And still always think

Loving some one like her

And being left out of the return

Of the love back to me

Can endanger all 4 of my hearts

Attraction's hard

She's been in a half a book so far

But that ain't the record

I write about my last ex

And it's been a year and a half now

Since the breakup

I read you broke up with

__you man too on Facebook

What for?

Was he just not a nice dude?

From the looks of his picture

__all I can see is that he's big

You should tell me why you did it

Maybe my head will get clearer

I know you like to party

I've been clean for a year

My dad be in Heaven

So I gotta stay sober

Now I'm in a halfway house

Just to be on my own

My own family doesn't even know

Who I really am these days

They think I got clean

8 years ago, and that

__there are no other mes

I don't want to make this long

__so I'll wait

For you to write back

__it don't have to be a rhyme

I hate competition

__it ain't part of my mission

I hope you stay outta trouble

Party hard, but don't go to jail

'Cause I won't post bail

-

09-09-'11 #1

D. L. Cannon





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