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This is just a couple of questions that I am asking myself daily. Is love always supposed to hurt? View table of contents...
Submitted: Jun 4, 2008 Reads: 69 Comments: 6 Likes: 1
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I LOVED THIS ONE....this is my FAVOURITE....This summarises my life too.....
i wish u write more and more poems like this one....
Posted: Jun 6, 2008
oooo, so many questions. . .so little time and answers.
i like this one! great work!
Posted: Jun 7, 2008
Alrighty here I am! You may regret!! ha ha...teasing.
I think if you broke this up into 4 line verses it would be more effective. OR, here's a thought. Why not put all your q's in one long stanza, then all the respective answers in the 2nd long stanza.
OR
My heart sinks in lies
I see love in your eyes.
My skin heaves in hate
etc etc.
Not sure. This is sure sexy with undertones though. Let your sensual side guide you, I see it trying to escape.
Posted: Jun 10, 2008
Hello,
i have to agree with peachy, you need to brealk this one up. Remember that when you write poems like this with lots of questions and painful musing try to employ short hardhitting verses. The shorter they are the more rhyme you'll have to employ. Or if not then add comma's in your verses for more dramatical effect. Work a little on the rhyming of this piece i mean rhyming is not essential but if you do use it then make sure its use is symmetrical. your rhyming needs to be consistent. That doesnt mean rhyme everything but what you do rhyme should be done in sequence.
I hope you havent minded my criticism, i apologize if you have. But i myself changed my writing style upon an assesment of my poem by classy peach you'll see what i mean when you read my following poems "end of time" and then "the toymaster".
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
wow, i would've totally related to the majority of the poem, but nowadays I am feeling way too great! i specially liked that questionnaire theme!
Posted: Sep 10, 2008
Reading this one again.
So true.
Posted: Sep 11, 2008
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Other writing by dom22 connection A Fools prayer Own worste enemy Friends can be lovers? Drowning in your sorrows More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.