i am sorry said the doctor
your partner must come off the pill
if she continues taking it
she's going to be very ill .
a vasectomy is the answer
its easy safe and quick
just a simple snip in the scrotum
just below your dick .
well i thought about it long and hard
and though those thoughts were very grave
i knew i had to take the plunge
and decided to be brave .
so i lay upon the surgeons bed
awaiting that sharp knife
oh the temptation to get up and flee
i've never been so scared in all my life .
the nurse came in with soap and brush
sir this will only take a minute or two
but if it gets a little hard and playful
it makes the shaving easier to do .
so i lay there shivering
as she scared me out of my wits
i must be bloody bonkers
a woman , a razor and my bits .
i wanted to raise the white flag of surrender
but that is not my style
though i can think of at least one woman
for whom that will raise a smile .
when i came to in the recovery room
my bits rested in a sack
i thought . wheres that bloody nurse gone
i must have my willy back .
well so many years have been and gone
and once more things are working fine
but that nurse wafting that razor
still fill those bad dreams of mine .
we men are just like tigers
we are forced to face our fears
we just get a little nervous
when women with sharp instruments come near .