vasectomy

i am sorry said the doctor

your partner must come off the pill

if she continues taking it

she's going to be very ill .

a vasectomy is the answer

its easy safe and quick

just a simple snip in the scrotum

just below your dick .

well i thought about it long and hard

and though those thoughts were very grave

i knew i had to take the plunge

and decided to be brave .

so i lay upon the surgeons bed

awaiting that sharp knife

oh the temptation to get up and flee

i've never been so scared in all my life .

the nurse came in with soap and brush

sir this will only take a minute or two

but if it gets a little hard and playful

it makes the shaving easier to do .

so i lay there shivering

as she scared me out of my wits

i must be bloody bonkers

a woman , a razor and my bits .

i wanted to raise the white flag of surrender

but that is not my style

though i can think of at least one woman

for whom that will raise a smile .

when i came to in the recovery room

my bits rested in a sack

i thought . wheres that bloody nurse gone

i must have my willy back .

well so many years have been and gone

and once more things are working fine

but that nurse wafting that razor

still fill those bad dreams of mine .

we men are just like tigers

we are forced to face our fears

we just get a little nervous

when women with sharp instruments come near .