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The Whiteboard Confession

Poetry By: EJRylee
Poetry


Nope. Not gonna do it.


Submitted:May 17, 2013    Reads: 28    Comments: 6    Likes: 3   


What does it

I'm sitting here beside you

Writing on a whiteboard

The words that I'm erasing

Turning green

That stains my hands


What does it


Writing on a whiteboard

These words that I'm erasing

Erasing from the empty silence

Filling up my mind


I haven't spoken this before

Excepting in my thoughts

But now it's written

Here before you


See my mind

Within my hand


What was it--


Yet you watch

You stare

You shake your head

So slightly I can't tell

If it is

Sadness or

Unfeeling

That is shaking at your words


Worthless?


Bolded and

It's circled now

No longer so

Ignored

And I can

Feel the tension

(Anger)

(Worry)

Growing

In my fingers


Someone

Someone told me


Why are you

So calmly watching?

Can I read your eyes?

Is it here that you are hiding

Something more that I can't see?


And was it something like

Relief

That I should feel right now

Beside you?

Like I've always wished and

Dreamed of?

Always lived and

Always hoped for?


(Is it true the words you've spoken

are no longer to be trusted?)


Worth--


What is it I'm expecting?

Why expect these things at all?

Since when have I deserved

Your patient love?

Your kind concern?


Yet here I sit

My marker bleeding

Color on the blank white canvas

Of this whiteboard in my lap

Of this cold thing called my mind


Those things I always took for granted--

were they all for me?


What does it mean


I sit without you

Writing slowly

With words staining--

(now erasing--)


And they mark my frozen fingers

With the tears

That fall so slowly

From these painful downcast eyes

That are ashamed

To meet with yours


This guilt is heavy

Like a blanket

Can I lift it?

Should I dare?


What does it mean now, to deserve?


Do you know?





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