It wasn’t supposed to be this way,
We were just supposed to talk,
Kick it as friends,
And leave it at that.
Then I got curious with you,
Knowing that you knew that I had a boo,
But yet we were drawn to each other,
In away that I never thought possible,
To feel some kind of way for another.
My girl asked me if I was interested in another,
I looked her dead in the face and lied.
The next day I told the truth,
It didn’t make the situation any better.
She wanted me gone by April 1st.
Sleeping on the couch,
Letting my tears run down my face,
Thinking damn all I had to do was be loyal,
All I had to do was tell her the truth.
Time went by slow,
I went to work,
Talked to my best friend on the phone about what happened.
Words of encouragement,
Telling me don’t throw away these years,
Fight for what you want if its what you want.
I told my girl here I stand,
I broken woman,
Not being shit without her.
She said love me from a distance,
I told her I didn’t want too,
She said my ex said you would fuck up,
I just shook my head.
She said why,
I said I don’t know,
She said she stroked your ego,
I said no,
She said yes because I’m an attention whore,
I just sat there saying no.
A few days later I found myself in bed,
Next to her,
Her asking me if we were going to work,
I told her only if she wanted me,
I can’t fight for someone who doesn’t want me.
She wants to give a shot,
I thought cool.
But at times she gets that moment,
That moment when 21 questions becomes the game,
Have you seen your “situation?”
Have you talked to her.
How do you go from seeing her all the time to not seeing her?
Why are you acting like everything is okay?
I said to her,
I don’t see her that much because I go to work earlier,
I only say hi and bye,
I work in the back now,
Do you want me to sit around crying all day?
I’ve shed my tears.
I understand that emotionally I cheated,
Emotionally I allowed someone to get close to me,
Emotionally I allowed myself to get close to someone else.
Everyday I deal with the consequences,
No time for tears,
Just working on building a different future.