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Swallowing

Poem By: Eternal Night
Poetry


I was frustrated with some issues. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Apr 16, 2008    Reads: 28    Comments: 6    Likes: 3   


Black Shadows
Lashing out at me
Grabbing, pulling, swallowing

Fiery hands
lashing out at me
slapping, whipping, swallowing

Green thorns
lashing out at me
breaking, hitting, swallowing

I am broken into bits,
no longer whole,
no longer free,
I am nothing.


3

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Comments:

You really get your point across. Hope you have mended since writing.

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks. And I think I have.

Got that spooky feeling reading this one

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

lol. really?

Irwin
(not registered user)

Reminded me of something I once wrote. I like it.

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Cool. Is it on here? Maye I'll read it.

oo strong and powerful. love it! it really painted some great pictures! excellent imagery!!

Posted: Apr 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks!! :)

Green thorns
lashing out at me
*breaking*, hitting, swallowing

won't the word *piercing* be good ?
Don't mind please, just a guess....

it touches soul and i have felt this so many times during my Medicine career....
it's so so tough....to explain and put in words...u have known a way inside our hearts.....haven't you?
well done...

Posted: May 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh thank-you, and yeah it probably would be better. I was kind of in a rush when I was writing it, I was in class and was meant to be paying attention, oops! And I agree that it's hard to put into words, feelings gererally are because they have so much depth and you could go on explaining them forever and still not descibe it well enough. :)
Eternal Night.

The ending on this!!! 'I am nothing.'
Wow, really got the feeling across there. Really great imagery in this one, also. I like how you used the 3 words on the end of each stanza, until you get to the last line 'I am nothing'. It's awesome :D

Posted: May 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Yay, you liked it. Thanks for the complements Cheers :) Eternal Night



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Other writing by Eternal Night Fear Follows A Little bit of Pain Threading Thoughts I was their Friend You Helped me Stand More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

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