Today dawned as one of those mornings

that appear deceptively peaceful

the sun, streaming through the shutters.

A day that would seduce me to

stretch and purr, appreciatively

content as a cat.

At times like this,

I need to be wary instead

A little afraid that the space

will give me time

to think of you

A little afraid that the thinking

might make sadness

descend once again.

This hasn't happened.

Not lately, at least.

It surprised me, one day

when the fear didn't arrive.

Still, I will not fake

complete peacefulness

and I won't pretend

to know why not.

I do know somehow

that the healing creates

bigger voids yet.

I now begin to fill in the details

about you, about us

that didn't previously exist.

Or maybe it is only that I refused to admit them.

Are these flaws in both of us?

Moments of weakness and bad judgement

that caught us at an opportune moment?

I'd like to believe not.

I'd really like to go on knowing that

what was right was truly right

in its moment, if not forever.

It is all that I ever need

all I must know and remember

to restore the calm.