Submitted: Dec 20, 2007
Reads: 61
Comments: 3
Likes: 2
As days go by my mind becomes restless.
I wonder how would I surivie, as each day passes by.
I become more dark by the strikes of life,
I glare out on the open hoping things will get better,
as hours go by; things don't get better.
Each year that comes by times get tougher,
As I grow older I begin to lose hope, life to me was wonderful,
I have learn wonderful times get snatched away from me;
living me with only a taste I'll always yearn.
The pain inside grows and grows until it is cut once again;
that pain is like cancer that comes and goes.
I will not try to give up on the hope things will get better and life is wonderful...
Email this story |
Print Story |
Add to reading list
Comments:
I wonder how would I surivie, as each day passes by.
what about
I wonder how would I survive and each day passes.
I love lines 4 and 5.
Each year that comes by times get tougher,
how about
each year passes i only feel weaker
hat pain is like cancer that comes and goes.
what about
scared that the pain will numb in familiar
I think "and life is wonderful" should be on its own line. I sincerely hope that you are not offended that i've offered different words for you. This is a very deep poem and deserves more than the 25 reads its taken. It's filled with morose but your last line shows the strength in you. Very nice.
Posted: Feb 10, 2008
Robert Storm
(not registered user)
Hey Ezzy, good stuff hon. Very reflective. Maybe you could submit some stuff to me. www.freewebs.com/robert storm. It's a new site check it out. It's cool.
Posted: Feb 26, 2008
yes I agree with classy...a poem with depth and intensity....and needs lots more reads and honest opinion....i really liked it...honestly since this is once again ur soulful write
Posted: Jul 13, 2008
