I envy the girl

I envy the girl, standing next to the man who smiles.
Tenderly, staring, before turning away for a while.
Five minutes, he doesn’t care,
It’s still five minutes when she’s not there.
He misses her,
Even if he doesn’t, he kisses her before she leaves,
And she feels special.
As for me,
I feel lonely.
Unwanting, unconscious, I envy the girl who feels like crying when her baby’s crying;
I paint a picture in my head.
Her lover holds her, when the child is quiet; she finally lies asleep in bed.
I pray I paint a picture of the truth.
If I do, she should feel wonderful.
As for me,
I feel lonely.
Perhaps, even if the house is cold, she knows,
She was loved. Once. For a night or so.
Her phone rings. “Hey sweetheart.”
I will never no.
Unwanting, unconscious, like
Their baby. I want to scream.
I envy the girl who now where’s a ring,
Even if gold doesn’t mean a thing.
Like a fool, I pull a face, standing next to the man who smiles.
His words blur, he talks to me! For a while.
A Minute, I stare, I care.
One minute when I am there.
I know he’ll turn away I’ll be insignificant again,
For just one moment. Everything.
I felt unbeatable.
He misses her.
Even if he doesn’t, he kisses her,
And she feels special.
As for me,
I feel lonely.
I watch her sun shine,
I watch his stars glitter and glow.
I know, I remember.
Remember why I am truly envious.