Who am I ?
I live in my own world,
that is farfetched from this world,
My dreams are what just place to be,
there is nothing in real life that is meant for me.
Nature is what I adore most,
the joys of life are in them alone,
For all my life i thought who I was,
and I am still thinking who I am,
perhaps just another human with a heart and soul,
I love the wind, I love the rain,
I love the birds, I love the trees,
for all my life I had this dream,
to know my self and know this world.
-Fred (Faraz Nizamani)
hi again,
i liked the simplicity of this piece, its starightforwardness was heart warming. Nice work, but try out rhymes, afterall thats what makes poems so mesmerising to readers. for example, to take a verse from your poem above,
For nature is what i adore
Within it, is a joyful cure.
although i made up the verse in a few seconds, its essentially the same thing you said but because of the rhyme it has a double meaning. Which to me is the very essence of poetry, which should mean different things to every individual. Everyone should infer a different meaning from the words you write and a rhyme acomplishes that.
P.S i know you probably hate me for my criticism but believe me its only complete honesty. Honesty my friend is the greatest gift a reader can bestow on any writer.
Posted: May 11, 2008
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