Submitted: Dec 29, 2007
Reads: 596
Comments: 60
Likes: 17
…monster
by Gerard Lebel
grandmother married a monster…
a fair haired Norwegian man
I called Uncle Dan,
who instructed me to touch him…
you know… down there.
I was ten…
I stood immobilized…
unable to catch my breath
and frightened half to death.
grandmother married a monster…
a beer bellied, drunk of a man
I called Uncle Dan,
who seized my hand and placed it…
you know… down there.
I was eleven…
I stood transfixed…
unable to catch my breath
and frightened half to death.
grandmother married a monster…
a sad, pathetic excuse for a man
I called Uncle Dan,
placing his mouth on mine, he fondled me…
you know… down there.
I was twelve…
I stood defiant…
screaming, kicking and catching my breath;
I frightened him half to death.
© Copyright 2007 Gerard Lebel
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Comments:
Very powerful. A very gutsy thing to write about. I'm not sure if you're writing from experience, but I felt I was truly there.
MA
Posted: Dec 29, 2007
Great Work! Very well written. I wish you well and God Bless. Lisa
Posted: Dec 29, 2007
I've often wondered...
then excused myself that I was sensitive.
I've often wondered why my heart raced
and my pulse quicken when ever reading
or seeing anything on the subject of molestation.
Then wondering I realized
I was a blocker and I had a folder in my mind
label amnesia.
I avoided the subject for the longest time
but the files have been slipping into recall.
I have remembered so many buried episodes,
not with the same person but throughout my life.
I feared one of these days I will remember
a monster like yours
and I wonder will I be able to cope...
the adult in me becomes a scare child once more.
I hope I never remember anything more.
My reactions have amplified.
I can't taboo molestation out of my life.
Nor can I contain my lost memory.
The monster has over whelmed me.
Posted: Dec 29, 2007
Jerry,
A very healthy statement to make. I have emailed it to work. May I have your permission to publish it in a journal for incest survivors here in Oz? With authorship and source aknowledged of course.
Many Thanks.
J.G.
Posted: Dec 29, 2007
Irwin
(not registered user)
Good work Jerry. Strong theme and well written with that nice little twist at the end.
Posted: Dec 30, 2007
Dody
(not registered user)
Oh Jerry - you are very brave to write this. There is so much of this in the world and when you were young, it was taboo to discuss it. An assistant I once had at work told me of her days in daycare as a child. She was molested by her babysitter's husband on the pool table in the basement. I can't get the image out of my head, I cheered when she told me he had died. I hope your monster is suffering somewhere. This is incredibly powerful and may be your best poem yet...
Posted: Dec 30, 2007
Jerry this is an Exceptional peice of work and hope it helps others to stand there ground. Thanks for sharing Juliet
Posted: Dec 30, 2007
wow thats a rather sad, scary story because unfortunately its true for many people (thankfully not for me) and it is very powerful... excellent read...
Posted: Dec 30, 2007
Nothing gets to me more than abuse of little kids (or animals for that matter) who can't defend themselves. I think it's great to get that subject out in the open--rather than keeping it a secret. Secrets make people sick. Hooray to you for standing up for yourself at such a young age.
Posted: Dec 30, 2007
The simplicity of that really hits home.
I was abused myself when I was younger and I still cannot be frank about it. You're very brave.
Well done.
Posted: Dec 31, 2007
A very powerful poem about a very difficult subject. It takes a lot of courage to write about abuse. Sadly it is all too common.
If one person reads poetry like this and they find help as a result then it makes the pain of writing it worthwhile.
Very powerful and very moving the simple language makes the impact all the stronger.
I wish you better days
Peace
Boneman
Posted: Dec 31, 2007
Your poem made me want to send this man away to never, ever come back. Wonderful work.
Posted: Dec 31, 2007
a very powerful poem.short and to the point. well done for speaking out. how many uncle dan's still wreaking havoc in young lives. one is too many.
a peaceful and happy new year.
snowbelle.
Posted: Dec 31, 2007
Lionheart
(not registered user)
There are WAY too many "Uncle Dan's" now, more than ever in fact. It was beautiful how you piece touched so many people and that with or without the intention, you helped others. This has never happened to me, but i know people, and like "headexaminer" this and the abuse of defenceless animals really prods this lion. You are fortunate that you have taking this out in a healthy way and you are brave, although you may not think it. Whether you have experienced it is irrelevent, it is posted in public with the same response had you not been abused yourself. It is something that happens everyday, im sorry for your situation, but i thank you for a great read and i thank you for helping those see that it is not what inflicts damage on us... it is what shapes us.
~Lionheart~
Posted: Jan 1, 2008
Your poem made me so sad...I was a victim when I was younger of something like that...and I never fought back...but I know now that if it ever happened again, I would fight to the death.
Your peom was also very strong. It genuinely made me think about everyone else out there who has to deal with this and someday I wish to make a difference by helping kids who have been abused.
Keep writing these...you're very good at it and they are so powerful, I can't help but think that others will be impacted by them.
And by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 2008!!! Have a good one!
Posted: Jan 1, 2008
Jerry (smile) I will just say that I admire and applaud you for this! Bless you with heart wide open...much love...katie
Posted: Jan 1, 2008
so sad but oh how i understand and feel the pain of that young man. hugs
Posted: Jan 1, 2008
Hi Jerry,
you've obviously touched a nerve judging by all the comments above. Great work - honest, open, raw and powerful. On a writing level, I think it works well because it feels like a nursery rhyme with the repeating "grandmother married a monster" which gives it added gravitas and power. Well done and have a great year in 2008!
Cheers, Mark from Oz.
Posted: Jan 1, 2008
I bow down to your writing as for I could have ever written about that, because it brings back bad memories and hate that horrible man doing that to me; it subject is hard to write about you have the guts to write it down. It is just too bad that man stole my innonce.
Posted: Jan 1, 2008
Very brave of you to post this work... I admire you for being so open about a subject that is too often kept to ones self... I am with you in your feelings and can totally relate... please read "Barbaric Pressure" if you haven't already for my own personal living nightmare... Bravo!... write on my friend
Posted: Jan 2, 2008
RebeccaSwope
(not registered user)
It was a big step to write this poem. I hope it helped you though. Writing always helps me release my feelings and makes me feel better. You have inspired me to right about some more of my own "Monsters". Thank you.
Posted: Jan 2, 2008
This was a very touching poem and to think children live this everyday.
Posted: Jan 3, 2008
Strong stuff Jerry, but it needs to be written about, maybe a sort of 'payback' even if it is a long time ago.
Regards Brian.
Posted: Jan 3, 2008
Hi Gerabel, I want to say that this is a wonderfully well written peice... I also wanted to ask, have you ever read the book "the Perks of being a Wallflower"???
This poem reminded me of that book, well, the ending anyway...
This is one of the most beautiful, emotional, brilliant poems I have ever had the pleasure of reading!
Thank You for sharing this with us.
Posted: Jan 3, 2008
Hi Gerabel, thank you for welcoming me to Booksie, I look forward to sharing some of my thoughts. Monster is such a sad reality yet very empowering. I didn't hear victim when I finished reading but HERO screams out!!! Your writing captivates...
Posted: Jan 4, 2008
Gerabel, this was a touching piece. Your honesty and bravery add such emotion and dimension to the story. I am sorry something this horrible happened to you, but am really proud (as practically a stranger) that you have grown so strong as a person and a writer to write about what you know, what is uncomfortable, in the most courageous way. Bravo!
Posted: Jan 4, 2008
Jerry,
Congratulations on all the feedback. You have obviously touched many lives in a very healthy way. I trust it has helped your own healing.
Take good care.
J.G.
Posted: Jan 5, 2008
This is really greatly written. I too have faced such monsters, and I'm glad you've turned the awful experiences into such good writing. Power to you.
Posted: Jan 6, 2008
hi i have only just found this website today, every where i look i see your writting, hope on day i can have as many fans as you. you have a gift... thankyou again and i'm sure i'll be thanking you in the future...
Posted: Jan 6, 2008
jerry. jerry. jerry. that was AMAZING. just figured i'd let you know (:
Posted: Jan 6, 2008
This is such a powerful peice. i loved it. Brings back alot of certain memories for people too im sure. Great Read.
--Kcy:]
Posted: Jan 6, 2008
That took gumption and a bit of audacity. I absolutely loved it!
Posted: Jan 7, 2008
You are extremely bold and courageous for pouring your soul in what I consider one of the best poems I've read. Extremely powerful. Beautiful poem.
Posted: Jan 7, 2008
Tough subject. Great read. Well done.
Write on.
Ozzie
Posted: Jan 8, 2008
Powerfully written.
This one is going to stay with me.
Posted: Jan 8, 2008
This poem is amazing and inspiring. You have a rare talent to pour truth and feeling into a wonderful poem. Good job!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Jan 10, 2008
This has to be one of the most inspiring and powerful poem I've read. going to be REALLY hard to forget... an amazing poem
Posted: Jan 11, 2008
Delapsus Angelus
(not registered user)
I have to say that I cried, and I guess I shouldn't say that but I did. Just when I thought my dark poetry would probably get me banned here I am reading the darkest of poems and it gives me strength because I know that I'll never feel "that" way, alone ...again.
Posted: Jan 11, 2008
Wow that was really grate my heart skip a beat
I look up to you
Posted: Jan 13, 2008
Judith Colosi
(not registered user)
Jerry, It took such bravery to pen this horrific memory and I applaud you for your effort. Each and every one of us has secrets in our inner closet and it is so healthy to clean that closet out. You are a poet of the first rate and I am proud to know you. Judy
Posted: Jan 14, 2008
Jerry,
I am not prone to crying, but right now I have tears running down my cheeks. I had an 'uncle' with the same sick fixation on children. To this day I tense up and find it hard to breath anytime someone wants to 'tickle' me. That is how it always began, he would initiate a tickle game and sneak his touches in. I feel a bit naked, admitting this. I think that if you can do it, then so can I.
My 'monster' is still alive, still considered by some to be a pillar of his community. He is getting his though. Kharma has gotten him in the form of an incurable heart virus and cancer.
Posted: Jan 14, 2008
Holy Guacamole!
Lotsa comments! Kudos to you for fighting off your abuser. A friend of mine's daughter (her daughter is special needs) was sexually abused by a man for two whole years before we found out about it, because she didn't know how to say anything. It breaks my heart, knowing there will always predators out there to hurt our beautiful children in this world.
Two years after this man was found out, he committed suicide.
I believe what goes around, comes around.
I cannot believe the response you've received from this very scary, yet so real moment in your life. You always share a part of yourself when you write, and this poem is no different.
Posted: Jan 15, 2008
What such a History ! Unhappily this happen all the time. Children are abused for monsters and seems that when they cry for help nothing is done. I wont discuss the causes of it , but it is a very sad history and i hope that help others take care of their sons.
Posted: Jan 15, 2008
Your poem is so very moving. Thank you for sharing your innermost demons. I hop all the love and support that has been poured in your direction rewards you for your bravery. Beautiful Jerry, the child in you should be very proud x
Posted: Jan 16, 2008
This was a very moving poem, I read it with a tearing pain in my heart for I am also one victim of molestation or incest. It got me to relinquish my fears but this time I was so deeply moved by the beauty and sadness that I was finally able to face my fears and confirm the truth tot my Mother. This poem made me reliase a lot of things and although simple to one eye, I was able to see a lot more deeper into it and pondered at it and still am. I am very impressed and grateful for you, you have written something everyone will be able to refer to and/or sympthazie/discuss. I thank you very, very much. For letting a past fear come into the open, and although my attacker has been convicted of many crimes long ago and now sits in a white cell (thank the lord) the aspect of me getting over this is very signifacent. For the numerous time, I thank you.
Most Gratefully Yours,
Karina
Posted: Feb 12, 2008
It is very hard to write and tell people of one's struggles with abuse, especially something so personal as sexual abuse. I am very proud to see that more and more people are sharing their experiences so that others know that they are not alone.
Posted: Feb 13, 2008
Thank you for directing me to this. Boy do I admire you! For the writing, but mostly for that plucky twelve year old who put a stop to it. (and for the recognition that although he was a monster he was a pathetic excuse for a man)
Posted: Feb 15, 2008
oh it was a little disgusting because i was vizulizing, but i like the rymes not sure i liked the idea
Posted: Mar 19, 2008
Gerabel,
I'm glad that you had the courage to come out and talk about your abuse. I wish I had that sort of strength. No, I have never been abused, but I've seen the effects first hand. My uncle sexually abused my best friend and cousin- while I was in the room I might add. Ever since that, I have never looked at him the same way. Ever since that, I have never allowed myself to touch or be touched (even a hug) by someone I do not feel extremely close to and trust. How sad it is that an even viewed when I was eight, has fashioned how I live my life today.
You have my support. Good luck.
~Kaori
Posted: Apr 13, 2008
I like this poem, it made me laugh, it was especially funny the way you ended it.
Posted: Aug 5, 2008
It's a tough subject to think about, write about or
talk about...it's the "Evil Genius" that Pandora let
out of the box and we haven't found a way to destroy it. Well written Jerry. When things like this happen
does it really make us bigger, stronger, better?...
wishing you well. Kind Regards
Posted: Sep 15, 2008
This is a wonderful poem. Just like your others. You are a survivor of child abuse! Just as you are a survivor of cancer! You are a very strong person and I think you know it. You're helping other people. And you realize what you are doing when you write things like this. You want to write this stuff to help other people. This is awesome! **High 5** Your living your life the right way and I commend you on that! Keep it up! You don't understand how much this poem means to me. Although you also might. No I am not a victim of molestation. And I'm not going to explain either. Just... this means a lot. Thankyou for writing this! Once again. Truly heartfelt, AMAZING poem. Take care!!
~Love~
Cassie
Posted: Sep 28, 2008
I mean no humor when I say that this is a touching and moving piece. Becides the courage it took to publish it, It is masterfully written about a subject that hides in the closets of modern society's mind. Not enough talk about it, and those Who do are not given the attention they deserve.
I applaud you for this piece and gave it a like it vote, and added it to my read list. THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT.
Posted: Oct 25, 2008
