My Haven

Sitting in my place

My safe place

My haven

Hiding from the world

Hiding from the pain

Hiding from you

Blocking out the noise

Blocking out the sites

Blocking out you

This safe place

This haven

It has a catch

While I sit here safe

While I sit here hiding from the world

While I sit here blocking the world

There is still one thing I can not get away from

The pain

This pain is not physical

Although it sometimes does become physical

This pain is still…

All inside me

In my heart

In my head

In me

So there is a question

Do I stay with the pain?

Or do I face the world and experience that pain?

Which one is worse?

There is this pain in my haven

This pain that tears me from the inside

This pain that makes me loose all sense

This pain that breaks me in half

This pain that I can not handle

Or there is pain in the world

 the pain of death

The pain of heartbreak

The pain of sadness

The pain of everyday life

Which one is worse?

Well I would have to say the worse would be in my haven

I am never free

I am never safe

For even this pain follows me everywhere

I have no place

No safe place

No haven

I am lost

In time

In life

In pain

There is no end

There is no relief from this pain

Except….

The freedom of darkness

Real darkness

The darkness where you know nothing

It brings pain

But only physical pain

Physical pain is nothing compared to the pain inside me

This physical pain is a blessing