Shinny

So shiny

Yet so dangerous

This thing

Could end all

All my suffering

All my pain

End everything

Would there be pain?

Or pleasure?

Would I regret it?

Or rejoice in it?

Would I succeed?

Or would I fail?

My goal

Never achieved

Always waiting for the right moment

But it never coming

I have failed

I could not succeed in even this

I am weak

Not even able to do this tiny thing

This tiny thing that could fix all

Could take away it all

Take away all this pain,

This pain in my heart

It is always there

Waiting for the moment to pounce

Grab me in it's clutches

And tear me apart

From inside out

It is Unbearable

I need to end it

Now

I will find a way

To end it all

I just need a patience

That I don’t have

Please help me

This pain

Take it from me

I can not handle it

I am not strong enough

So please

Just take a little

That little bit will be a lot

It will ease my pain

Just for a moment

So please take it!

That shiny thing

Its not working

It wont do its job

It wont take it away

It wont do what I need it to do

The blade

It wont go

It wont take it all away

I have failed

I have failed myself

Please take this blade

Please do its job