Trapped Internal

As I sit covered in dry and crusty tears

From the hours of inhuman crying fits

I contemplate the reason of my fears

As I close my tired, red and bloated eyes

My thoughts drift in and out of memories

That flit thru my tragic mind like bloated flies

I can see an open door that is bound

I stop and feel fear upon my soul

I am not sure why I fear being found

This is my mind my thoughts and hopes

But fear it is I feel as with despair and hate

My love and aspirations are bound by ropes

The shackles around my being I cannot see

Are held in place by mental chains and locks

And as hard as I search within I can’t find the key

I fumble and falter as I trudge thru the past

Only to reveal memories of fear and loathing

So I run deeper down within my mind so fast

I can hear me calling to myself to stop and turn

But I know I lie I am tricking me with hope

I dare not turn to see even tho inside I yearn

The voice is cold like spears of solid ice

Begging, pleading for me to listen and see

But I will not be fooled not once, not twice.

The void in my mind is fraught with danger

I did not know where I was at first sight

But it was my future and I was a stranger

This place is desolate, cold with unknown fear

A chamber of what will be that has yet not

Have I come full circle, as I sit and shed a tear?