Should Have Leaned On You

I don't know what held me back from turning to you

I should have known that you'd help me see it through

I'd long given up fighting the addiction

On intoxicant-induced adrenaline I was driven

Though I knew what I did was wrong

I kept at it, it was the only thing that kept me going strong

They said I messed my life up

So I spent my nights with strangers at the pub

I really did had nothing left to lose

Their cold-shoulder found me losing myself in coke and booze

Somewhere inside I knew that I shouldn't

But I drowned myself in high-life, 'cause nobody could

Stop a second and try to understand

Why it was that I held a knife in my hand

Malice pumped through my every vein

I thought If I died I'd be immune to pan

A disappointment, a failure, was all they thought of me

They don't know how hard it made me to just be

Who's guilty? They pushed me off the edge

Made it hard to breathe, so from this life I fled

Now I watch in overwhelming grief

My love living his life in healing belief

It kills to know that I should have seen

How on you, baby, I could have leaned