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I have just written the hopes of all the children who go to school, wishing....... View table of contents...
Submitted: Sep 3, 2008 Reads: 37 Comments: 5 Likes: 1
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that would be great, no lessons, and just games.
the poem's alright, not my favourite,[ you've done better] but its good.
=]
the idea is great tho, to show how the pupils really want school to be.
Posted: Sep 3, 2008
Wouldn't that be nice? it's a good poem, all the pieces are there, flow, essence, depth of thought. I just didn't seem to feel a hook. Otherwise, well written.
Posted: Sep 3, 2008
I love it Jack! Wonderful idea you have created; not having to do homework in school. That would be a fun one, for a while anyways... eventually you would quite bored though and of course there would be no way of getting a successful job. I liked this poem, keep it up, and just let me know when ever you post something new! =)
~Maple
Posted: Sep 3, 2008
Hehe don't we all wish that we could just run around the school causing chaos and mayhem. Even though the teachers say if were "good", our activities depend on our behavior. We can be perfect little angels and still receive the same amount of work, which is kind of annoying. Hehe anyways, back to the poem! I did enjoy it, different, and a little unique depending on the readers perspective. Great job ;-)
Keep me updated for new posts, you usually do but I wouldn't want to miss out on one :)
Posted: Sep 3, 2008
Nice poem illustrating an idea that all students wish for. Some grammatical errors, probably just typo, nothing major. I wonder though why you started the first verse as a rhyme but the rest didn't follow...I think if you make it rhyme it is more likely to hook people. Good idea though.
Posted: Sep 4, 2008
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