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The Start of the School Year

Poem By: Jack12
Poetry


I have just written the hopes of all the children who go to school, wishing....... View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Sep 3, 2008    Reads: 37    Comments: 5    Likes: 1   


                           THE START OF THE SCHOOL YEAR
 
The start of school came,
Our teacher greeted us saying,
“Hello students! You all look the same!
The school year has begun, and this time you won’t be paying.
 
We’ll have fun,
In the class as well as ground.
The studies will be some,
And far and few between.
 
You are allowed to bring their toys to school
And play with them and not do a stroke of work!
You are allowed to honk and hoot,
And nobody will mind.
 
No more boring lessons of History
Just games, games, and games.
You are allowed to scatter your books of History,
And nobody will mind.
 
No more heavy P.T. exercises too,
And certainly no boring Music lessons!
You allowed at all lessons to boo
Loudly and nobody will mind.
 
With just games and games and no studies,
Isn’t it wonderful?
Isn’t it wonderful?”
The students said eagerly, “This,
Is going to be a smashing year.”
 
Before I woke up from my fantasy,
And found that I was late to go to school!
There the teacher greeted us saying,
“Hello students! You look different!”
 
I was rudely shocked,
But this was just the beginning!
“The school year has begun, and as usual you will be paying.
We’ll have important studies this year!
 
So prepare yourselves,
For no games and study, study, and study!”
Ah, I was surprised,
But still I didn’t say to a buddy,
“I wish I could return to my fantasy.”


1

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Comments:

that would be great, no lessons, and just games.
the poem's alright, not my favourite,[ you've done better] but its good.
=]
the idea is great tho, to show how the pupils really want school to be.

Posted: Sep 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Yep, how great it would be if the fantasy came true....! Thank you for commenting even if it isn't your favourite. I shall be writing new poems later on. And I will improve my style. :-)

Wouldn't that be nice? it's a good poem, all the pieces are there, flow, essence, depth of thought. I just didn't seem to feel a hook. Otherwise, well written.

Posted: Sep 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Some readers have complained saying that they didn't feel the personal touch of a writer in my poems, and while I hate to admit it, it's true. Still, I will work to improve. I'm an ameateur in writing poems - but, I believe that I shall be experienced a few months from now.

I love it Jack! Wonderful idea you have created; not having to do homework in school. That would be a fun one, for a while anyways... eventually you would quite bored though and of course there would be no way of getting a successful job. I liked this poem, keep it up, and just let me know when ever you post something new! =)
~Maple

Posted: Sep 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! Of course, it would be boring if we were playing only games and I do consider your points, but for a while it would be perfect heaven! Even though I'm not that fond of games, it would be nice to sit and check what everyone is doing.

Hehe don't we all wish that we could just run around the school causing chaos and mayhem. Even though the teachers say if were "good", our activities depend on our behavior. We can be perfect little angels and still receive the same amount of work, which is kind of annoying. Hehe anyways, back to the poem! I did enjoy it, different, and a little unique depending on the readers perspective. Great job ;-)

Keep me updated for new posts, you usually do but I wouldn't want to miss out on one :)

Posted: Sep 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks. :-) You know I always let you know when new work is posted, as you are one of my best commenters. Thanks again.

Nice poem illustrating an idea that all students wish for. Some grammatical errors, probably just typo, nothing major. I wonder though why you started the first verse as a rhyme but the rest didn't follow...I think if you make it rhyme it is more likely to hook people. Good idea though.

Posted: Sep 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Well, yes, there are few grammatical errors. The obvious reason for no rhymes in the later verses is.... is.... just because I hadn't had them. A most unpleasant reason. Humph.



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