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This is a sad love story where someone experiences the struggle of being left alone amid life's difficulty. View table of contents...
Submitted: May 2, 2008 Reads: 55 Comments: 8 Likes: 3
I
asked if
you could stay
when sky went gray,
leaves fell off the tree
a friend was all I need.
It was the time of year
when the river ran dry,
the weather was cold
you turned your
back on
me.
* * *
I
was alone
the thunder roared
and the lightning struck
didn’t you hear when I called?
the waves rolled back and forth
they reached the shore in rage
water flashing, flooding in
along with it…
my tears---
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That's what loneliness feels like. You explained it perfectly
Posted: May 6, 2008
This was amazing! I loved how the powerful emotion of the words was contained by the strict formality of the poem's structure. I think the contradiction made it all the more moving.
Stephanee :)
Posted: May 21, 2008
I like the structure of this poem as well, from 1 to 6 and back again. That's the ups and downs of life.
Posted: May 23, 2008
I could relate to each word in it....i uderstand because i have been through it.....
Posted: May 25, 2008
i read this again Jadey....i don't know when things will settle...but GOD will help as u said...
Posted: May 26, 2008
awe. thats really sad. but really good. i'm not sure if i should be happy i read something so good or sad because of what is says.
Posted: May 29, 2008
You captured a moment of loneliness and sadness well. I can almost feel the cold waves washing over me.
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
looks like 2 teardrops. love the artwork. great use of narrative to bring out the emotion that is running in the background. The verbal grasp is appealing to the heart. You got the vote on this one.
Posted: Nov 19, 2008
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Other writing by jadey oneil S I L H O U E T T E WINDOWS OF MY HEART HIS MAJESTY THE UNWELCOME VISITOR MIDNIGHT PHANTOM More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.
