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THE HEART OF THE OCEAN

Poem By: jadey oneil
Poetry


Alice made a seemingly difficult challenge. I took the bait and did my best. I'm sorry if this came out a bit late. That, because of the following restrictions: (LOL!)

Subject: Diary
Setting: Titanic
Words:
1.Tiara
2.Witness
3.Chimerical
4.Naive
5.Pigment
6.Aviation
Level of Difficulty: 7

Don't forget to FIRE OUT your comments. ^^ View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jun 24, 2008    Reads: 69    Comments: 15    Likes: 6   


terrified voices hovering through the air;

high-pitch wails and frightened screams;

begging! calling!praying!

the cries of helplessness,

the signs of hopelessness,

danced onto people’s panic faces!

sans angels…sans light…sans genies…

stars looked down from the moonless sky;

witnessing a seemingly chimerical event;

angry chilly waves whipping, water invading in;

claiming ownership of the territory,

where the giant ship barely afloat;

the maiden voyage caught the curse;

slowly,

sloping down, sinking in;

the water gave in on its weight;

they painted the picture of jonah…

falling into the mouth of the hungry shark!

the cold and icy ocean feasted on hundreds of lives;

they could only think of their naïve ways of survival.

then, there the girl’s tight grip on the rail…

with the likes of anne frank,

she hugged her own little kitty---

the keeper of her passion and fascination;

she looked so young and so vulnerable;

suffered through that manmade negligence.

loose pages were falling from her grasp

as she fought and struggled for life,

with one last big quake,

little kitty, which worth more than any royal’s tiara,

bade her farewell.

death is the black pigment in memory

whenever my mind flies

and reels back to that one cold night in hell;

as if made to be the greatest aviation;

my thoughts wanders back too often

my pen travels thus as far, page by page;

making rhythmic strokes word after word;

remembering my old little kitty

buried deep down the heart of the ocean.


6

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Comments:

Oh, Jadey, this has brought tears to my eyes. It was so beautifully written and yet so sad.

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm sorry if I made you cry a bit. On the other hand, I'm glad it creates that kind of impact. Thanks, Susan! ^^

it was soooo good i love TITANIC more than words can describe lol. it was sooo beautiful really enjoyed it. i hope you read something of mine and give me ur comments as well =]]]

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Sure, I will. Thanks! ^^

Emotional, engaging. Made me think of the Philipines and the ferry disaster. I think you rose to this challenge very well.

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah, Typhoon Frank was cruel. :-(
Thanks for the comment. ^^

This was beautiful! :) I really like it. I have to admit it almost made me tear up. :) I am going to give it an " I liked it" vote.

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh, Thanks! ^^

aw jadey, you made a magnificent poem :)
at first i was thinking, hmm wheres the diary - but then i got to the end and i was like "this IS the diary" - she was writing the memory ^^ very clever of you!
well you definately took this on a new spin, which i liked. you used all of your words well and fulfilled the challenge!
keep up the amazing writing ^^ ha and i'm sorry if it seemed the words i gave you were too difficult -_-' but hey, look what you created: something "more than any royal's tiara" ;)
two thumbs up!!

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

I have been waiting for your reply, Alice. ^^ I have had sleepless DAYS. LOL! I have had various attempts. I wizened up for ideas even before I started writing them down. There was drought. Too lucky that plants grow even in stony ground. I just found it quite...difficult. That's all there was to it. LOL! Thanks for the challenge, Teacher. ^^

I agree with Susan, this was such a emotionally heart-renching poem! I love how you pulled the imagery together so I could picture the angry waves crashing onto the ship, people dying. AMAZING

~Brad

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, Brad!
I appreciate your comment. ^^

Wow I love this..I already really like the Titanic, and I really like this poem also..it brought tears to my eyes. Amazing job. :)

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot! ^^

A very sad poem. A great description of a tragic moment. Love this piece

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Glad that you loved it. Thanks, Deb! ^^

this is so sad, but so good. i could picture this happening..............the littles girls kitty...........it's really great. =)
~Lemon

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! ^^

AHH I agree beautifully written

if you would I'd love for you to check my new poems I just posted that'd be great thanks !!

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks. ^^

you excelled at the challenge jadey this is an amazing write, sad and beautifully descriptive, wow. =) snow

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

I poured MY ALL into it. LOL!
Thanks, Snow! ^^

this is so beautiful!
and i always loved the movie titanic!!
you've done well again!

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! ^^

sans angels…sans light…sans genies…


stars looked down from the moonless sky;


witnessing a seemingly chimerical event;


angry chilly waves whipping, water invading in;


These lines made my eyes moisten with sadness....I am sure u would have felt the strong emotions inside u because we all can feel them through this poem JADEY

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

That was really terrible sad and cruel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Pratibha! I appreciate it as always. ^^

Wow! I can tell you really put alot into this Jadey. It was worth it too, because its a wonderful piece of writing. You should be proud of it.

Posted: Jun 26, 2008

Author Comment:

I am. Thanks again, Lacey! ^^

this is too good! WHOA!

Posted: Jun 29, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! ^^



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