This poem is inspired by those Vampire stories I happened to read here on Booksie. This is but an attempt. I'm no good at this. I thank Cris for the help she's given me. Cris, your assistance is highly appreciated. Thanks!
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Submitted: Jun 2, 2008
Reads: 67
Comments: 18
Likes: 6
With a beauty that shines as dark as midnight;
Almost as inviting as a single drop of blood;
I'll take your heart with all of my might;
and let the darkness be your god.
* * *
I'll have your luminous wings detached;
morphing them into a black furry cape;
I'll clothe you with a silky blotchy patch;
and leave a bite mark upon your nape.
* * *
Warm welcome flows through open doors;
My realm will be your new home;
Two golden caskets—mine and yours;
Wedlock comes too soon.
* * *
Chosen by the King of Darkness;
Be my angel through the night;
Fate shall end your days.
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Comments:
You know I like it! Vampires are so much fun to write about; mysterious and yet very human at the same time. Nice use of imagery!
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
I love vampires, so while I was cruising through the site looking for vampires I came across this, read it and Loved it. I really liked it and I hope you write more.
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
Ooo, nice! Vampires are aspiring on Booksie, I love it! I like what you did, a great poem! ~ Nixie
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
You did a wonderful job on the poem, Jadey.
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
that's really cool. i love vampires.
Lydia_xxxx
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
i like it [:
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
ooh i liked it ! ^^
Vampires rock!
this was an awesome poem!
it was amazing as always..
keep it up!
*~mandy~*
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
I think you did very well with this, has it's own unique feel.
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
ha well i've read a lot of vampire stories here on booksie but i think this is the first vampire POEM i've read and i give you 2 thumbs up for that. way to be different ^^
i thought there were great lines of imagery and several things were phrased wonderously.
excellent work
keep it up :)
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
AWESOME! i love it!
K-bear!
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
oooo....ooo...scary...but beautiful honey....
Vampires seem to attract so many of you....Geez, i am scared of those creatures.....
wonderfully phrased....
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
somehow I was confused for the hue of the poem if its kinda dashing dark or winking white XD I ended up t o say that its multi-colored! haha... XD boy/girl i think you gotta change its genre coz i dunno if its horror , thriller, or some other... ^ ^ just suggesting... but If you don't like... It's fine :) hmm...
so you were saying this is not your line really? hmm ^ ^ Seems to me that you're a pro! why is it like that? :)
hmm... can I read some more about vampires from you? You look pretty awesome on writting about 'em ^ ^
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
Loved it...though am more in love with carpathians than vampires...fell in love with this one! Great job.
Posted: Jun 2, 2008
ouuu, I like I like.
I've always had a little thing for vampires so this poem really caught my attention and kept it throughout the whole thing! Great job!
Steph:D
Posted: Jun 3, 2008
this is a great poem, why dont you publish it in redbubble?, they have a lot of interesting contests.
chord0
Posted: Jun 8, 2008
you got thee vote for it. However before celebrating I bring these 2 sins too you. It was rushed in detail, the second verse rushed the description. there seems to be a verse missing between the last verse and the second to last. I've spent 5 years crafting my dark stuff, either I blow away my readers or they suck. I'm not sure. I do love the choices of words in this poem. YOU doughnut suck at this genre, henceforth I encourage you to write again and I think your next piece is going to be better. with much respect and gore to you.
Posted: Jun 9, 2008
good.good.good
poem always reveals two things
1 about itself
2 about writer thoughts
Poem is not such thing that some people believe that it
can be written as per wish. NO.
its to be written when such thoughts come together forming the the words of poem. once again I'll say
Good
Posted: Jun 24, 2008
Really good poem.Maybe it would be better if it was more darker...But its great like this too. :)
Posted: Jun 26, 2008
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