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Once again, the product of working a nightshift rears up! This has actually been on my mind for a long time and I wanted to make sure I articulated it as well as I can. Only time and opinion will answer that question.... View table of contents...
Submitted: Sep 24, 2008 Reads: 37 Comments: 4 Likes: 2
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I hope my interpretation is right...*crossing fingers*
When a family member is lost, no one except the person going through it can understand...
life suddenly becomes blank and dark andlost...
i really really do not want to add anything to this wonderful poem which brought tears in my eyes...
the end of the poem is so so hopeful...life begins...with a hope and fresh breeze....
i hope 'young boy 13' regains his confidence because he now hs an angel guide.
Posted: Sep 26, 2008
This is rather sad, is it from personal experiance or something you read/heard about?! I like what you did with each stanza, repeating the line and it rhymes perfectly! Had to read it a few times before offering something worthy, but i think I will be back to comment again! ~ Nixie
Posted: Oct 2, 2008
Excellent work jak but just wondered what it's got to do with your night shift any way i'm impressed by the disturbing detail and the sad loss it realy hits a nerve thanks for sharing it with us, tootles now check out my swanky new soap entitled SOLENTVILLE YOU KNOW YOU WILL LOVE IT.TOOTLES BUFFERDUDE
Posted: Oct 24, 2008
I could definitely feel how close this was to you. The 'last time you saw her alive' immediately grabbed me. I lost a couple of close family members a bit younger than that but always felt as part of a family grieving. i can't imagine feeling on the outside of that. I do know what it feels like to be 13 and feel like no one in the world understands your pain. I too like the structure and the way it was presented. Was the last stanza you talking to your inner 13 year old? ~Em
Posted: Dec 2, 2008
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Other writing by Jak Sylvian Old Mugabe had a farm.... Lost Wingman Eyes Opened Je suis Contradiction Gone Too Soon. More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.