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Tags: 13, loss, help, family

Once again, the product of working a nightshift rears up! This has actually been on my mind for a long time and I wanted to make sure I articulated it as well as I can. Only time and opinion will answer that question.... View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Sep 24, 2008    Reads: 37    Comments: 4    Likes: 2   


Young boy thirteen,
When in December ’95,
Everything was fine,
Last time you saw her alive.
No-one could have known,
There were no warning signs,
You kissed her goodbye,
Nothing made it different that time.
It all went OK,
The self-same routine,
What made a difference that day?
Young boy thirteen.
 
 
 
Young boy thirteen,
It tore the family apart,
You needed to mourn,
Never knew where to start.
They were so busy,
Consoling themselves,
To take that much notice,
Of you in need their help.
Too young to understand,
Let it all be a bad dream,
As when you needed a hand,
You’re on your own it would seem,
Young boy thirteen.
 
 
 
 
Young boy thirteen,
I’ll look after you now,
Of every-one else,
I’m the best one who knows how.
You’re doing much better,
The smile’s back on your face,
Darkness has lifted,
Put you in a much better place.
When things get too much,
If you’re feeling alone,
And the support that you need,
Won’t be given at home,
I’m here.
Young boy thirteen.


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Comments:

I hope my interpretation is right...*crossing fingers*

When a family member is lost, no one except the person going through it can understand...
life suddenly becomes blank and dark andlost...

i really really do not want to add anything to this wonderful poem which brought tears in my eyes...

the end of the poem is so so hopeful...life begins...with a hope and fresh breeze....

i hope 'young boy 13' regains his confidence because he now hs an angel guide.

Posted: Sep 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Bang on, 10/10 for observation, when writing this I did feel it would be fairly self-explanatory on the reasoning for it. I'm glad you like it my friend, it's always brilliant when you cast your eye over my work.. especially this one as it is quite close to home.

This is rather sad, is it from personal experiance or something you read/heard about?! I like what you did with each stanza, repeating the line and it rhymes perfectly! Had to read it a few times before offering something worthy, but i think I will be back to comment again! ~ Nixie

Posted: Oct 2, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm sorry who are you again? the name rings a bell but I don't know if my memory can stretch that far as to remember who you are..... :-D

Anything you write in terms odf comments are worthy, it's the main reason I write! Still if you want to comment again you are more than welcome, I mean it's not like my pages are flooded with Nixie-bits are they? :-D OK think I'm done.

Always great to hear from you matey whenever you stop by.

Excellent work jak but just wondered what it's got to do with your night shift any way i'm impressed by the disturbing detail and the sad loss it realy hits a nerve thanks for sharing it with us, tootles now check out my swanky new soap entitled SOLENTVILLE YOU KNOW YOU WILL LOVE IT.TOOTLES BUFFERDUDE

Posted: Oct 24, 2008

I could definitely feel how close this was to you. The 'last time you saw her alive' immediately grabbed me. I lost a couple of close family members a bit younger than that but always felt as part of a family grieving. i can't imagine feeling on the outside of that. I do know what it feels like to be 13 and feel like no one in the world understands your pain. I too like the structure and the way it was presented. Was the last stanza you talking to your inner 13 year old? ~Em

Posted: Dec 2, 2008



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Other writing by Jak Sylvian Old Mugabe had a farm.... Lost Wingman Eyes Opened Je suis Contradiction Gone Too Soon. More..



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