Electrolove. - Poetry Poetry - love, soul, lust

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Electrolove.

Poem By: Jak Sylvian
Poetry

Tags: synthesizer, lust, love, soul, electro, seduction, need, want, crave

As I haven't been doing poetry enough to have developed a "style" to to speak, I thought I might play around with a different style of poetry from my usual.
Maybe this should be an advert warning against the dangers of night-shift work mixed in with Red-Bull type drinks!!!
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Submitted: Jun 6, 2008 Reads: 55 Comments: 12 Likes: 8

When we first met all that time ago,
I cannot believe how you've shaped my life,
Moulding and shaping, turning and making,
Is like an age, yet feels only a day.

Swept up in the electronic waves of what you generated,
A sonic tsunami you came.
Seeped into my very essence,
My life was never going to be the same.

All my memories are tied in with you, my firsts and favourite times,
No matter how happy or sad I am you're always there,
Your auditory caress, so gentle yet so penetrating,
I want you, need you, CRAVE you.

The feelings you generate are more than natural, so pure and yet so corrupt,
Seduced me in the most complete way possible,
I was, am and forever will be a helpless yet willing slave to you.

Your every touch fills me with such desire,
A pleasure that is almost too much to contain,
So seductive yet so innocent,
No limit to how essential to me you became.

Moog, Roland, Casio
Yamaha, or Korg.
The only name you'll always be,
Is MINE!!!

You've electrified my heart,
Synthesized my soul,
A robot boy with a human face.

My oldest, fiercest, and most intense love,
We will be together forever,
Human passion mixed with the immortality of the machine,
A true, perfect symbiote.

8

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Comments:

whitehart

I loved it. It flowed so well, bet it could have made a good song too. Loved the title too. Great piece of work

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Funny you say that Whitehart, I was sort of thinking about making it into a song but haven't the faintest idea how to make it sound the way it appears in my head.

Thanks for the encouragement, I really wasn't sure trying something new was a good idea, especially at 6am!!

Pratibha

if this is the result of "dangers of night-shift work mixed in with Red-Bull type drinks!!!" then go for them more and more....JAK.....OH Boy this is WOW.....my second favorite of ur writing after Unrequited...after a long time, a polished and fine read.....lovely.....

Let it be late....but the poem is SUPERB....

I insist u go for more night-shift work + Red bull drinks.....
Sorry for being selfish ...but THIS IS MARVELLOUS...i have no words left now.....
MINDBLOWING....

WHO is the lucky girl, JAK dear??

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Author Comment:

*INTENSE BLUSHING* I had no idea it would have that much of an effect, and as for it being polished I wish I could say it was, in fact all told was probably around 40 minutes worth and even then I didn't think much of it. Thank you so much for always being there with the biggest words of encouragement and praise, I'm certain that I don't deserve them.

I shall do what I can about the night shifts and Red-Bulls, seems to produce much better resulst than if I ever plan anything. :-)

Oh and as for your last point who said it was a lucky girl or boy...? I'll leave you to decipher that as you will..... ;-D

Pratibha

u write with ur soul and honesty and so it impresses everyone.....keep writing like this and then there is no looking back.....MAY GOD BLESS YOU....

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Author Comment:

You are a walking fountain of encouragement my sweet friend, I don't know about it impresses everyone, as long as SOME people enjoy what I write, ten I'm more than happy with that.

And may God bless you and all those close to you as well. :-)

apodiform

I think the title says it all! Electrolove...ha ha ha. I didn't know you were a musician?! Do you do gigs and stuff? I love the way it wasn't really about the music, but about how it made you FEEL. And who really has a style anyway? Loved it! ~Em

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

:-D It's always good to read peoples interpretation if the subject sn't 100% clear, gets peoples grey-cells working and that helps to remember whatever it is you read in the 1st place. Oh I'm no musician, would love to be but the creation of music does not come naturally. I'm an appreciator of others work. If anyone DOES fancy assembling a synth-band do let me know I'm happy to add ideas ;-).
Really glad you loved it Em, hope I can keep that bar up.

bubbly

hi! jak. a good mix of mechanical and emotional world. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jun 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks very much Bubbly, I'm all for splicing different ways and means to see if the end result's any good. Glad you like. :-)

Anna Therese

Is there such a thing as a specific style or a poetic "voice"? Some of us have it definitely. I read poetry from some of our booksie writers - Classy Peach for example - who has a very definite style. I am always wondering about mine? (You might like to read my poem titled "Poet Innovator" to get the sense of this?)
No matter what, still exploring your "style" this poem was a beauty - a mix of "tongue in cheek" erotica and down right humour.
"Moog, Roland, Casio
Yamaha, or Korg.
The only name you'll always be,
Is MINE!!!"
Very funny!
I gave it an I like it vote.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Sorry this took a while to reply but I wanted to give this adequate thought.

Yes I think people do have specific styles, becoming more prominent the longer they are established. Whether it's a result of "keeping to what you know" or more comfortable with, or even a style that you naturally and sub-consciously gravitate toward.

I did read POET INNOVATOR and agree with what you put completely. It's the poetic equivilant of "beauty being in the eye of the beholder" but I do see styles in people, Peach, Nixie, Irwin,Pratibha,Kinkyboots yourself, and even in me I notice I'm starting to gravitate into a certain way of writing and what I end up writing about.

Still, I'm really glad you liked this and as I say reading your work it's a real privilage to have you not only read, but pass comment as well. Thanks so much! :-)

Anna Therese

And like I did with someone else I had a mental block about the title of the poem I suggested you read, the poetic voice poem was "Hide and Seek" - however the last person I invited to read it said, in essence, it didn't really work as a poem so I'm glad I directed you to the wrong one!!

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL well I'm glad you pointed me in the direction that you did, I really do find your work brilliant to read.

Nixie

LOL how awesome is this! You always surprise me with your ides, and I really didn't expect that ending even with the picture and the title as give always. I have to say my favourite is a Korg, can't beat it! Great poem, love it! (sorry it took me a while to read it) :) ~ Nixie

Posted: Jul 27, 2008

Author Comment:

HAHA I have no idea, you tell me!! Don't worry about the amount of time, as long as you read it that's the important think and let me know what you think as your opinions really count for so much.

Agreed on the Korg, the sounds that thing comes out with are fantastic, even to a complete newbie to keyboard playiogn such as myself.

If I'm completely honest i had no idea where the ending was going myself till it finished. I just started writing, and more popped into my head that I thought "ah that'll do" and carried on and on until the end just evolved fully formed.

Thanks so much mate, always brilliant to hear from you.

gabrielbrum

You were very creative! I would take out the part of the brands of instruments in the poem. But it was an extraordinary work!

Posted: Aug 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thankyou very much Gabriel, not that I'm critisising your suggestion but could I ask why the removal of the brands? Is it too much? Unncecessary? Copyright?

Any insight would be most helpful as I am most eager to learn.

ReganFinch

Wow Jak, this is very creative! I don't think I have ever read a poem with these themes before, nice ;). I really liked the lines, "Swept up in the electronic waves of what you generated, A sonic tsunami you came." That's beautiful. You really have a talent, and I look forward to your new stuff! Take care, Regan

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thankyou very much Regan, I haven't been doing this for very long and still finding my feet so it is really nice to have someone finding my work worth reading.

I do like trying to find themes that aren't overused or "done to death". Not sure if its such a good idea what with being so new but I've never been one to do things by half!

I look forward to reading more of your work too, once again thanks very much for your kind comments.

Bufferdude

This is an awesome piece of work am gobsmacked at your genius for creativity, i totally agree with all of your sentiments where would we be without the synthesisers and whatever mood we find ourself in the music refreshes like a cool mountain stream on a hot sunny sultry day don't you think?
This is my first inspection on your work and if this is just the tip of the iceberg i am in for a real treat.

I am going to write a new novel tomorrow it's concerning issues relating to if we had 24 hours to spend with a love one who had just passed away what would we do with our loved one.
I mean if they had already gone but you could some how reverse time and spend that precious time together interesting concept don't you think?
By the way i like ROBYN do you know her from the song "Every Heartbeat?"
She lives and gigs in the west end i think maybe in the kensington or hammersmith area.bd

Posted: Aug 26, 2008

Author Comment:

WOW bd, just WOW I myself am gobsmacked at that comment. I shall have to pop a cheque in the post for you in a certain brown envelope wink, wink, nudge, nudge!

Without Synthesisers??? That my friend is a world I can't conceive and one that I would not even WANT to conceive. So much of my life is interwoven with Synths that it's not really possible to extrapolate one from the other.

I think your novel sounds right up my street and you absolutely HAVE to start on it, soon, no VERY soon! Yes I know Robyn and the other half has her album, it is brilliant to see Synthesised music making a comeback into the mainstream after so many years of neglect and rubbish we have had to endure in the meantime.

justonenight

OMG, hahaa, i love the originality and creativity. :) it's so intense and imaginative. guh-reat job!

Posted: Sep 1, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL thanks, really glad you liked it, you'll see if you read my other stuff that I try to write outside the box on subjects if I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes not it's all a big learning curve. :-)

Hope I can keep the standard up.

© Copyright 2008 Jak Sylvian All rights reserved. Jak Sylvian has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

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Other writing by Jak Sylvian Old Mugabe had a farm.... Lost Wingman Eyes Opened Je suis Contradiction Gone Too Soon. More..

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Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, God, Hate, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Heart, Family, Faith.

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