Random First Lines: Derest Ana,I've betrayed youonce, yet again.IN the mirror,you've shown me truth.Though I was blindand did not... : Young Adult » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Lost Wingman

Poem By: Jak Sylvian
Poetry


Here it is, my first ever publishing. As with all firsts there was a lot of thinking, lots of fumbling, much head scratching and in the end a Geronimo moment..... View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Mar 31, 2008    Reads: 52    Comments: 8    Likes: 5   


Thought we were headed for the danger zone,
Never pictured it being this way,
The two of us, inseparable, infallible, unstoppable.
Now look where we both are, today.

We decided I'm Maverick and you were the Goose,
How that happened doubt I'll ever know,
When we were together all hell would let loose,
Made the days go much faster I suppose,

No-one could believe how well great we got on so fast,
To the point it was had to tell one from the other
Personalities bounced so seamless and effortlessly,
"Take me to bed or lose me forever!!!"


As days sped past we'd only grow closer,
You'd tell me your secrets, I'd tell you mine,
And when the day came I told you about her,
I knew my hidden skeleton would be just fine.

It came from nowhere you didn't see it, nor did I,
It never happened that way on the screen,
You knew I couldn't stay - had to eject,
And sacrifice all that had been.


Arrivederci, il mio amico migliore.


5

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

Irwin
(not registered user)

A fine poem, first or not. Well structured, words chosen carefully, fine tale. Look forward to more.

Posted: Mar 31, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks very much Irwin, was quite nervous just before I sent it reading as many fine peoples work on here. Look forward to writing more now! :-)

Sad when love falls apart.

Posted: Mar 31, 2008

Author Comment:

Very true, and when it seems to collapse so fast it gives a sense of disbelief that it's actually happening. Thanks for posting, I appreciate it.

Love poem with a "Top Gun" theme? Very original.

Posted: Mar 31, 2008

Author Comment:

Hi clslater, thought it would be a unique twist to the conventional, thanks for taking the time to comment.

Hey, you’re a bit of a poet then huh? I like the way you have structured it, you could easily make a song out of it. This is a great piece and if this is anything to go by, you’re a diamond writer. ~ Nixie

Posted: Apr 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey-ya, actually funny you say about it as a song, I was thinking about making it into a song style but to be honest, I am that inexperienced I wasn't sure how to do it so I stuck with what I know. Annoyingly all the last minute changes I made before have disappeared and gone back to their originals, but it's posted now. Most important, thanks for the encouragement, coming from you that is a massive compliment. :-)

I thought the Top Gun theme was great. I forgot Meg Ryan was in it until I read "Take me to bed or lose me forever!!!" This was really good and original.

Posted: Apr 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey-ya, Meg is an often forgotten part in Top Gun, probably as she's better known for her work in her films with Tom Hanks! Still thank you for commenting, I'm really glad you enjoyed this, I've been reading your work and it's all captivating.

I had loved that movie and I loved this poem...

Posted: Apr 11, 2008

Author Comment:

I hoped it would be a curious blend that people could relate to, and it does seem that the gamble paid off. Thank you for the comment, hope to have more up soon.

Whoa, Top Gun! Probably my favorite movie growing up and still one of my faves today. Props for the Maverick and Goose metaphor

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

:-) Cheers buddy, always a good film that doesn't really age even if the music has somewhat!

Thanks for taking the time out to read this!!

What a wonderful first published piece!! My youngest son's favourite movie is "Top Gun" - he was in the air force cadets for a while but decided it was very hard to become a pilot so he is now in the fitness industry.

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you very much, was SO nervous as this one though my first is one quite personal to me and didn't want to get shot down (pun slightly intended)after my first go.

Top Gun is a very special film for me as well, lots of memories and good times intertwined so it was a natural choice really.

Would your son still like to join the armed forces in some capacity or has he found his better calling?



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 Jak Sylvian All rights reserved. Jak Sylvian has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.