Random First Lines: Senki sem tudja, min megyek át, Senki sem látja a könnyek hadát. Senki sem érzi... : Poetry » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Puppets

Poem By: Jak Sylvian
Poetry


It's been a while then all of a sudden I get this about an hour ago, probably shows but please enjoy. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 27, 2008    Reads: 49    Comments: 7    Likes: 6   


Pull my strings, watch me move,
Willing to do anything you want me to.
Helping you with a small thing to doing the lot,
The tiniest gesture I'm there like a shot

Doing jobs I dont want to, eating food I hate,
Until you contact me again, I just cannot wait.
The effort you use is laughably low,
There's nowhere for you I wouldn't go.

I try to forget you, think i'm doing so well,
Am I making progress, it's so hard to tell.
One things for certain, you have all control,
Why can't I stop paying this terrible toll?

The power you have, too strong to ignore
Always leave me wanting so much more.
To try to resist, the effort is lame,
My feelings I'm sure you treat like a game,

The loss of your colour makes everything grey,
I'm trying so hard not to feel this way.
I'm not what you want, that's branded in my mind,
What is it about you I cannot leave behind?

Keeping the distance is doing nothing fast,
Just how long is this feeling meant to last?
Holding this torch, it's light shines for you,
It's too hard to stop even if I wanted to.


Tell me what I should do, to let you know,
Just cut the strings, please let me go...


6

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

Wow...this is a pretty good piece. Love the imagery used...and the comparison to a puppet. Its a great read.

Posted: Aug 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Hi Whitehart, long time no speak, I hope you are well. This has been burning a hole in the back of my mind for a while now in various guises so I hope I took down the right one!

Thanks for your comment, I look forward to reading more of your work too.

That was intense! I hope I'm never in a situation like that. I really like the line; 'The loss of your colour makes everything grey'. Well put, indeed. Now that you are back, let's hope you keep posting more of these gems.

Posted: Sep 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Hope I didn't over-do the intenseness, wasn't really the way I set it out to be,still I'm glad you liked it.

It's not a situation to be recommended to anyone nevertheless these things have a nasty habit of creeping up on you and not revealing themselves until it's too late.

I hope I can still write these gems you talk about, thanks very much Urja, always look forward to your thoughts.

Hey jak you are truly inspirational what a masterpiece of writing, i loved it and can see from the content that you and i and the rest are all being controlled by the media,food companies,politicians and such like.
I haven't been to a live sporting event for such a long time because i unlike many others will not pay to watch others entertain if it means suplementing other enjoyments just because it might seem trendy to do so.
Be original,unique and always you and that will take you far.

Posted: Sep 2, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey,hey BD nice to hear from you again giving compliments I would have a hard time reasoning I DIDN'T pay you to say! :-D

I think that none of us are as free from certain constraints and control as we would like to think we are. Hello, feels like an idea beginning to hatch.....

Thankyou very much my friend, I will try never to stray too far from originality.

hi! jak. life as a puppet can be pathetic. this poem is ample proof of that. no one should exert this sort of strangling control over other. it's time to cut the umbilical cord. the naked play of power should end.

the rhyming is dynamic and adds to the poem. loved it. lol. ;-)

Posted: Sep 2, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey-ya Bubbly, it's never a good way of being or allowign anyone that kind of control. In the same way no-one in their right mind would stay with an abusive partner let alone maintain a loyalty to them, yet it happens....

Glad you you loved it, hope I can maintain that level!

Really good poem, very nice!
I liked this: The loss of your colour makes everything grey
keep writing ;-)

Posted: Sep 5, 2008

Author Comment:

With comments like yours Svetlana I shall do my utmost to. Thanks so much, hope to see more of your comments. :-)

THIS IS ME...I AM SO SCARED to be on my own and I have ended up with a life like this...

JAK, i had always known that you are a mind reader and this poem reminds me of my OWN life and the lack of courage inside my heart and soul....WHY??

Don't know ...or don't want to know...and i am trying to close my eyes when SUN is so bright and truth is EVIDENT....
How long it will last ....may be till the day i die....

Posted: Sep 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow my friend, I had no idea... obvuisly I don't know your personal situation but you must NEVER live a life you can see even through closed eyes is wrong. You have such a wonderful personality it would be a tragidy to have such a bright light dimmed.

I'm always around if you need to talk about anything, though from what I can see at least from Booksie there are no less than an army of people willing to be there for you as much as I am and that in itself is something rare.

Take care my friend.

This is excellent. Puppet on a string, but can't escape until the ties are cut. You express this so very well. I think spur of the moment poetry is good, always from the heart.

Posted: Sep 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow thanks muchly Anna, one of the things I missed about not writing was your comments to come back to. :-) I'm definitely agreeing with you poetry is better spontaniously written.

Maybe story/novel writing should be more planned out, least that's my thinking anyway.

Thank you for your kind comments, glad I am able to still write things worthy of comment.



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 Jak Sylvian All rights reserved. Jak Sylvian has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

Add to Reading List
Become a fan
Email this story Email this story
Read/Write Reviews Read/Write Reviews
Print Story Print Story



Other writing by Jak Sylvian Old Mugabe had a farm.... Lost Wingman Eyes Opened Je suis Contradiction Gone Too Soon. More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.