things i never had

people i never knew

warm body next to mine

a blanket in the park

on an autumn day

watching the fireworks burst alive



that voice to comfort

soft hands to hold

smile to soothe



never the chance reappears for the lost moments that might be

eight years gone

of times that should have been more to me

and now i seem less whole

then i once thought i'd be



that old idea of growing older

seems a whole lot newer now



hold on to who you have

throw nothing away

you may want them around some day



a sadness lingers over me

of people i should know, and places i could be



revisit these dreams, for theyve become nothing what they seemed

and who i am is no who i'd like to be



alone in a crowd of faces

mxed in with the bunch of traces

years gone by without distastes

an endless melancholy of what i missed

because i was too busy being pissed

at tiny things that go away

at people who didnt deserve it
when i'm the one to blame



at things that i could not change

and ideas that could not be

idealistic, shallow, selfish .... not who i wanted to be.



realizing these mistakes too late to stop the damange done

with years ahead to patch the fires that burned me up alive