What is heaven?  Can we believe?
When we are there it will relieve
Will it help our lives refine
To know the end is so sublime?

Or will it always be a swaying
Unknowing thoughts, unconveying
All our hopes and dreams delaying
Because our minds such games are playing
And emotions are displaying
Endless feelings all affraying
Undecided and concealing
Unexplained unrevealing
All is lost and not appealing
Bitterness is all we’re feeling
And hopelessness is all revealing

Oh God! Can it last?
All this guilt from the past
Will happiness descend at last?
Or will it haunt us till the last
I hope this is not so
I know that he is not my foe
Or do I?

I would not speak his name in vein
Though unconvinced I still remain
Not quite sure of how I feel
Of Gods existence. Is it real?

I would dearly love to know
That I could trust believe it so
But all my logic tells me “no”

How can one person have such might?
When all around can loose the fight
And all at some time take such flight
With only doubt and fear in sight
Seeing darkness never light

If peacefulness can be achieved
Then maybe I will be received
As being good though unbelieving
But innocent of crimes and scheming
But if doubtfulness a sin can be
Then I am sure it’s hell for me

Jenny Lloyd