Sometimes I believe their must be a million things I'd like to forget,
But I have decided to focus all of my attention-
On one huge regret-a pile of lies, one huge deception.
If anybody has read any of my poems-ever,
They will know that I have suffered from something that I will forget-never.
It is hard for me to talk about-you see,
All of the emotions hidden inside of me.
Maybe it's best to just tell the tale...
A tale of suffering, pain and abuse that I know so well.
I was sexually abused from the age of ten,
The abuse didn't stop until God only knows when.
It's all such a big massive blur of time and events-
So many years of living in pretense.
Living, breathing, eating, walking, moving,
But never really being...
The real me that I should have been...
Never dreaming, hoping, or trying back then.
I regret the abuse of course I do,
But most of all I regret not telling somebody what I was going through.
I regret not stopping it in some way,
I regret not being able to find the words to say...
"Won't somebody please help me?"
"Can't somebody help set me free?"
Because I was the one trapped in the prison of my life of secrets and lies...
And he was never prosecuted and made pay the price.
He walked away scott free
and after all of these years I am still trapped in the pain and misery...
Forever living with my regret...
Of never telling somebody about the crap that I was going through and that even now I can never forget.