ANNA-COBRA THE AGGRESIVE ASP
The boa constructor’s wife is called Anna– Cobra.
Every time I’ve seen her she’s hardly ever sober.
She likes to have a drink or two when she’s on the razzle.
And like her friend the Octopest, likes to cause some hassle.
There isn’t many pubs in town where she has not been barred.
And not so many landlords that have been left unscarred.
She always screams and shouts, she always in a brawl.
She would put the boot in, but she’s no legs at all.
Just before last orders her hubby runs to bed.
Listening for the front door fills his heart with dread.
She has received some letters, a warning of the violence.
Bob don’t speak till spoken to, he just sits in silence.
A phone call broke that silence, someone had bad news to tell.
“Your wife has met with accident, it seems that she just fell.”
The nurse said at the autopsy her stomach bulged with gin.
That is why we’re calling, because you’re her next of kin.
Do you think Bob’s sorry about his other half?
I don’t think he is, I can hear him laugh.
THE LAST MALE DODOG
There’s only one living specimen of a Dodog that’s male.
The owner decided to put it up for sale.
The breeders that wanted him needed big bucks.
They thought they’d make a fortune by selling his pups.
The price exceeded its estimate, it went through the roof.
Even Dodog was shocked, and let out a woof.
The new owner showed him his harem of bitches.
Dodog fell ill, and was plagued by some twitches.
An expert concluded they were of the wrong gender.
And this Dodog before him was just a gay bender.
Didn’t he wonder why this dodog wore pink?
It won’t be long now before the Dodogs extinct.
THE HIGHLY IMPROBABLE HIPPOPOTOMOO
In a time with no tick, in a world that’s not true.
In a land that’s not there, a strange animal grew.
A bit like a horse in black and white polka dot.
Seen in the clouds with his pipe made of pot.
Can you guess what it’s called? The last verse was a clue.
Well it’s the highly improbable hippopotomoo.
It floats to the earth that’s not there when it drops.
But no earth beneath means its fall never stops.
He feeds off the blue fish that live in the trees.
And for ‘afters’ its trifle, fresh from the seas.
But the one most amazing untrue thing it can do.
Is remove all four legs and make a canoe.
That’s the unbelievable fictitious hippopotomoo.
If the fictitious is unbelievable..., does that mean it’s true...?
TAZ THE TERRAPIN TERRORIST
This young reptilian was brought up in baghdad.
Seeing all the fighting had made him quite mad.
He said “when I’m older I’m going to kick up a fuss.
I may even learn how to blow up a bus.
When he’d grown up and he was much older.
his views were extreme and he was much bolder.
So he jumped on a plane and headed west.
not forgetting to pack his semtex vest.
In his hotel room he tried it for size.
But it exploded and just left his eyes.
Email this story 
Print Story 
Add to reading list
