Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

The Lachrymosity of the Weather

Poetry By: jp23
Poetry


This is the contest poem I've been telling you about. It didn't get into the anthology, but I still think it's good.

The plot of the poem is the sky's reaction to the sun setting.

There were some formatting problems, so I put the letter S, meaning stanza, to represent the line breaks.

Brace yourself: there is symbolism just around the corner.

EDIT: I've revised the poem to include an extra quatrain in the fourth stanza, making it almost a sonnet. Although it has a heroic couplet and there doesn't have to be a definite meter (there usually is though), there is no definite rhyming pattern outside of the lines I've added. I may have to fix that.

EDIT: I've added a Shakespearean sonnet to conclude the poem. Enjoy.

EDIT: I made several major revisions, including deleting two lines, changing the concluding sonnet, and making the poem 10 syllables per line all the way through.

This work has won second place in a high school poetry contest in late May 2012.
The picture comes from http://lc.fdots.com/cc/lc/62/62a37a3d1bea50478d97531d0d8298e8.jpg


Submitted:Mar 15, 2012    Reads: 80    Comments: 22    Likes: 5   


The tormented Sky was grieving greatly.

She veiled herself in a black shroud of clouds,

Yet the townspeople knew of her dolor.

The Sky pleaded with her belov├ęd Sun,

Beseeching him to stay a while longer before

He disappeared beyond the horizon.

S

The Sky threw herself onto the dark clouds,

Relentlessly kicking and punching them.

She caught electricity from the air

And frenziedly sent it hurtling to earth,

Those rays from the Sun who she held so dear;

Thoughts of their absence caused her eyes to tear.

S

The Sun felt despondent for seeing the

Lamenting child which lay before him,

Yet he could only offer his daughter

The few comforting words he could muster

As he continued on his westward journey.

The Sun tentatively touched the tall grass,

It was a mere nervous handshake at first,

But, at last, they moved to a full embrace.

The Sun said to lessen the Sky's great pain,

"Don't worry, we'll see each other again."

S

The Moon had arrived to take the Sun's place,

It, the cruel herald of the Sky's distaste

For its arrival caused the Sun's swift haste;

On that Moon the Sun's departure was based.

S

The Sky intensified her petition.

Her grim, lachrymose mood further darkened,

Her hope-holding orange tone contorting

And growing blacker ev'ry moment.

Her bawls and caterwauls turned palpable,

Franticly running over each other

In their quest to be the next messenger

Of her dejection to reach the Sun's ears.

She flooded the clouds with torrents of tears.

S

As the leading edge of the waning Sun

Passed six feet beneath the moist, tattered ground,

He weaved a picturesque parting rainbow

To help adorn the ravaged, surreal land.

The Sky reflected on the Sun's grand life

Through the dark, painful mirror of his death.

Her bleak bemoaning continued until

In the Moon's hands she was woefully

left.

S

The townspeople gathered to view the night.

Many before had seen this morose sight.

An army of stars, their light piercing bright,

Established the Moon's celestial might.

The Moon now approached the seat of the Sun,

Its trek to its crest it began to run.

The conquest of the Sky the Moon had won,

Yet the Sky's pleasure in this remained none;

The patter of the rain continued on,

Mourning the Sun of whom she was so fond,

Coping with the fact that the Sun was gone.

Her forlorn shroud of sorrow she still donned.

Never there's been a fate of cruel feather

Like to the bereavement of the weather.





5

| Email this story Email this Poetry | Add to reading list



Reviews

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.