Betrail

I go day by day trying to understand why you told me so many times that you loved me. Every morning you would wake me up with a kiss and my favorite words " I love you." I believed you every time you said them, like I trusted you been faithful.

I guess it was that I knew the truth that layed behind all the kisses, hugs and the I love you. But I guess I just didn't want to face reality. I knew things wornt right, you weren't the same person I had fallen in love with four years ago, that sweet, caring and understanding person who was there for me when I needed someone to talk to, someone to make me smile and forget about how bad my day was.

What just doesn't stop hurting me was that you made so many promises to me, specially the one that I really wanted to hear from you "I'll never hurt you," yes a beautiful comforting words. Words that really didn't mean much to you like it did to me.

The day that everything came out to the air I felt like you had ripped my hearth a billion times.

I felt as if that was the end of everything, like nothing good was able to come out of anything any more. We went day by day yelling and telling each other how much we hated one another, how you had cheated more then ones. I couldn't stop telling you over and over again what you had done to me I wanted to but I wasn't able to I just couldn't let it go so easily.

Time has passed since the last time we argued, the last time we told one another we hated each other.  Today I look at you and wonder if I really meant all those I hate you or was I really telling myself. At times I do believe I hated myself more then I hated you, for living indenail of what was really going on. Will I ever know if you meant the I hate you or did you also hate yourself for letting our relationship go this far.

We have hurt one another so much by our words, actions and attitude. We never wanted to see that our "happy and perfect relationship" wasn't what we wanted it to be sadly but true it was the hole opposite.

Not only did we lose our "relationship" but we lost our friendship. We walk pass each other as if we were complete strangers who never met.