Boy had lived.
If there's something I couldn't help myself from - it was all the
life lived in your eyes. The chances you'd taken. Good or bad.
The beautiful girls you'd dared to love, but more impressively;
dared to leave. Gambled. Threw away. Fuckin' terrifying to any
girl following. Except exceptionally appealing to this
Beautiful confused, broken boy.
Watch you tread carefully and awkwardly every second of every
day. Just getting by.
Disguised in just the right fit jeans, just how i like fit shirts, just how i like fit lids, just how i dig fitted sneakers. Genius.
I wanted the challenge of handling you. Of feeling you. Of seeing if you could feel me. Beyond and above your constant haze.
I wanted to go against my very instinct and believe you. I wanted to run along side and prove your jaded ways wrong. To teach you something about affection, loyalty, and kindness.
This girl wanted to get you right. This girl
wanted to get this right. This girl wanted to
watch you grow from me. This little clueless girl wanted
to watch you be affected by me, even if I knew where
this would lead. Silly young girl thinking she could
show you something new.
And I regress, I never thought I'd change you. Never dared to think I might have that capacity. I knew better if only when it came to that. It would've been less tragic if I may have innocently thought so, though. Less masochistic.
You tarnished, hurt, horribly hurt, damaged baby. Fucked up baby I wanted to indulge in.
Simple math, fucked up would fuck me up. Clear to see. I knew you'd fuck with me. I didn't care.
Let me in anyway.
Once in, I'd find everything battered up and bruised. Let me kiss
those bruises. High off me if only for this evening. This meal.
This morning. This afternoon. This movie. These 10 minutes of bad
head. These 20 minutes of gratification. This text message. This
minute in kiss. Kissing. Kikitos.
Still; inviting, warm. Smart enough to utter the right words.
And I wanted to believe you- so I acted like I did.
Pretty little eyes. Uncertain, but seemingly in my favor.
You would teach me something.
That I knew. That I was certain of the minute we interacted. Good
or bad, you'd teach me something.
In the midst of it. Confused. No lesson learned, but still enthralled.
I just wanted to kiss you