I want to start in a new direction.
The vibrant core of my being is beating.
Waiting to escape from the walls and limitations I have subconsciously created for it.
When it bursts inside me, and I feel the radiant glow of my soul.
I'll know I've been set free.
Looking at the clock, it looks as if it's mocking me.
Why do they cage us like animals?
Can we not experience life on our own?
Hurt outside these walls?
This constructive environment, this enclosed casing, keep erasing that thought.
Over. Over. Over. Over again.
Please be over.
I can' t stand this routine.
I'm living in the same exact scene, it repeats itself constantly.
Cue the lights.
Cue the actors.
Cue the sound.
I want to shut it all off.
Pull down the curtains behind me.
Rush off stage, near a bucket I can vomit in by myself.
How can someone have stage fright during their own life?
It's unbelievable, it's true.
I wish I was more like you.
You can escape the fact that we are over.
That I will never see your face.
That you'll never see mine.
And you're fine.
Because if you think about it hard.
I have a house.
Clothes on my back.
One good friend on my side.
I have a lot.
More than most.
One can always find comfort in that.
You, you yourself directly, have something more than someone else in this world.
You are fine.
Maybe, it's the routine that is making me squeamish.
I want summer to approach.
Bask in it's sunny glory.
I don't want to have a chill, and wait for your call.
The call that refuses to come, because I made sure it wouldn't.
I left the phone off the receiver, making sure to stray away from that voice for good.
Read a book?
Engross yourself in a different topic.
Find comfort in something that doesn't make you toss& turn at night.
Revive your freedom.
Forget the wide nose pig he's pursuing to sleep with.
Enjoy your freedom, your care free beliefs, because it's all some vicious cycle, you could probably avoid in the end.
Paint something with elaborate meaning.
Take a nap, a blissful snooze, that can make you forget the rules of temporary love.
Go to the gym, cardio?
You'll retreat back, and find yourself of more value, I know it.
Don't blow it.
Self sabotage is the worst.
Getting fat would only make him and the bitch smirk.
After the day is done, you can say you've accomplished something, enjoyed something, became refreshed by something.
Because you are a woman of beauty, mental, physical, dreamlike, beauty.
Glow in it.
Bathe in it.
Sleep in it.
Wake up in it.