The tears burn wet and steamy on my face.
I’ve opened the door.
The temptation fighting within my skull.
It finally won.
I let all the bad things enter my world after locking them away behind that door.
I see envy green, livid red, embarrassing blue, lustful yellow.
All coming back.
Attempting to carry me away.
How did I let all this decaying furniture to redecorate the housing of my brain.
It sits in musk, and I sit with it.
It makes me sick that I want to start over with all this fucked up junk.
It clutters my soul, and only wants more from me.
I can’t give more.
Can’t you see?
You’ve taken ever last bit away from me.
If I could I’d find a new place in my mind to flee to.
Yet, all I see, is you, you, you.
I told myself, not again.
You hardly moved an inch, yet I’m waiting to get the chance to throw my naked flesh on to your steamy skin.
You’ve only gift wrapped the presents you gave with lies.
It makes me sick that I’m yet again, writing about a disease I thought I removed from my paper skin.
Apparently not, though you don’t think of me, I think of you a lot.
It sucks, the hold you have on my soul, the limited time I have to be free and young, I’m wasting it envisioning myself being flung off a tall tower.
I miss my dad, and all the fun times that I use to be able to have.
Yet, childhood is gone, and you are the only song playing still.
Stuck on repeat, I want to revive that lost girl underneath all this mess.
Undress her rags, and allow her to flourish in a new dress made of diamonds and sparkle.
So the innocence will not decay.
My lovely, princess is here to stay, because she will not be tarnished by man’s evil ways.
I hope I can escape this feeling before morn will show its face through my window.
I will awake.
I always awake. Somehow.