I let the wet, droplets of hope sprinkle the outer rims of my eyes.
I hold myself together with one simple breath.
I make sure I take good care of what I seem to be so bare without.
Illusion is what keeps intrigue in one’s life.
A simple “No” would suffice.
Why is it so hard for me then?
What waits for me at the other end, I’m not sure I want to be aware of.
The rose petals sliding down my neck, red leaving a track.
I want to wake up from this dream.
If it’s not a dream, I want to rip each stitch fromthe seam.
I’m not what I seem to be.
I look so well put together.
A shining smile, bright eyes, simple structure.
I want something more.
I feel so utterly worn.
A song on repeat.
A television sitcom going through reruns.
A hamster forever spinning on it’s wheel.
I want something more to feel.
Instead of just this.
Reveries of fake, imaginary, bliss.
I want to touch something solid, something full.
Enrich my soul.
Yet, it’s too much, too fast.
I don’t think I’m ready to be happy.
I need to find an antidote, and drink it quick.
I taste the venom on my lips.
He’s poisoned me.
I can’t kiss, touch, love.
Without the guilt.
Make a better choice.
Pick a different direction to take.
I want to make my world beautifully decorated.
Vibrant colors, vivid memories of joy.
No more toying with my emotions.
No more lies.
No more late night cries.
It’s not worth it.
Find a simple speck of dust.
Blow it far away.
Into a land where things don’t end bitter.
No abrupt endings.
Just timeless grace.