An age old aspect of the time that has passed. Hair getting whiter and skin becoming translucent. Eyes showing confusion, but hope and livelihood, never letting age truly appear.
Words must be spoken louder because the ears have lost their hearing.
Steps are taken slower now, chance of broken bones is elevated.
I ignore all of this evidence of age...thinking about it kills me.
When she is gone a large part of who I am will disappear.
Death is a strange phenomenon. Here today, possibly gone tomorrow.
Thinking about death makes a person uneasy, uncomfortable and sometimes afraid.
Thinking about her death, stops my brain, my breath, Me.
She helped me through life, she may be the reason I am alive, she is the voice of reason and without that I am not much.
Her age has frightened me, partly because I know what the consequence of age is, and partly because I am finding myself through adulthood.
In other words I have been too busy. I will regret this one day, I will stop the life that I now have and drown in the thoughts of it.
She wants the best for me, maybe the only living being who does. She wants me to go on living and strive to be the best, but I don't think I will, if it happens too early, not the right time in my life, I will be ruined, I will have nothing, no one...
The time is emerging, I can feel it, her hands shake and she is sleeping a lot now.
I will not be okay, I don't know how I will go on, I may not go on. The day creeps into my head at inappropriate times like when I am driving to school or driving home, like a prediction or maybe it is someone letting me know that one day it will happen.
The fact is that death is natural, everyone will die, but I need her with me and I know that I cannot be me without her. I have lost two people of this equivalent and three is too many. I have been taught some awfully hard life lessons in which I have overcome, this I will never, could never be prepared for.
Fragile one, please do not break...don't leave me.