The silence engulfs me.
He didn't mean to do it,
I know he really loves me.
My body aches,
As I scoop myself off the floor,
I shouldn't have made him mad,
I promised I wouldn't do it anymore.
My hands are scraped, my body bruised,
I'll buy more cover up;
It won't look like I've been abused.
I see our family picture;
Faces smiling bright.
I see the man I married,
Not the one who beats me at night.
My mother said to leave him,
Daddy says to come home.
But I want to stay,
I promised to never leave him alone.
Maybe I like the pain?
The bruises no one else will see.
Maybe I love his fists,
Because that is the only way he'll love me.
He is my obsession,
the want for my every need.
He is my addiction,
More of a high then cocaine or weed.
I don't know why I feel this way,
I know it isn't right.
I don't want to leave him,
I'm the one that started the fight.
I talked to the neighbor,
He's a really nice guy.
But my husband saw us,
Sometimes I truly want to die.
I know that he loves me,
With every slap and curse,
He does it because he cares.
I only pray that it doesn't get worse.
The life inside me needs him,
At least he left her alone.
That means he loves us,
This time he didn't break a bone.
My darling, my love, the king of my heart.
I don't think he sees me, when he rips me apart.
He's passed out on the couch now,
Like an angel, he sleeps sound.
I grab a wash cloth,
He cut his hand on the ground.
Dabbing gently, I hear him apologize.
He said he didn't mean too,
I can't help but believe his lies.
I know it will always happen,
And I've been told that I'm sick.
But I can't ever leave him,
Inside me our little girl kicks.
So sleep sweet my darling,
My love will always be true.
Ifyou need to, then punish me,
I love my addiction to you.