At first, when I found out, I was distraught
I felt justified and righteous that she had been caught
I wanted her to feel the same hurt and pain
But was pleased in a way as I’d been going insane
At first, when the realisation hit home, the proof
I felt betrayed and mortified at knowing the truth
I wanted her to tell me what I’d found was all lies
But could tell when we looked into each others’ eyes
At first, I wanted to grab hold of her hair
Demand to know why she didn’t care?
I wanted her to feel the loss in my heart
Ask her questions like when did this start?
At first, I wanted to track the perpetrator down
I felt the urge to chase my traitor out of town
Wanted her to realise it did not just affect me
Her actions had affected our young family
At first, I didn’t want to live anymore
I cried when she left for a day on the floor
I called out her name and I begged to know why?
I thought of pain free ways in which I could die...
Then, I remembered my Son
Thought about missing out on hours of fun
I imagined how he would feel if I suddenly left
And of my love and guidance, he was bereft?
Then I remembered how it all began
How we held each other and we ran and we ran
I wondered how she would feel with the guilt
Of knowing she had destroyed what we’d built?
Then, I imagined her back in my arms
Asking forgiveness, swearing her love and offering her charms
And do you know? I could find no reason
For crucifying her for committing this treason
Instead, I wanted it all to just disappear
Knew it would all be forgotten next year
I felt awake and aware with the realisation
That maybe this was an unscheduled stop on the way to our destination?
I wanted her to say sorry for what she had done
I wanted her to remember where we had begun
I no longer wanted to rip out her eyes
Or feel pain at my death as she looked to the skies
Then, I thought, if she wanted to leave
It would speed up the end and allow me to greive
I understood that if he was more exciting
Why stay here when he seems more inviting?
Then, I thought, it is time to forget
Come home; and live not in regret
Just brush it all away under the carpet
And dream of the things that we haven’t done yet...
We forgive you, we love you
We treat you like there is no-one above you
We want you back home where you truly belong
With us, with our love; and with his love gone.