For the past fifteen years, our friends have sat in my back garden and moaned
Bitched, whinged and cried
Laughed, joked, reminisced, planned
Remembered the ones that have died
We have shared our beer, wine, food music and fun
We have given them time, encouragement, advice and hope
Given up our personal minutes to them
Shared what little we had and our dope...
Now at this juncture in time
When I am contemplating what has gone wrong, and why?
And looking ahead with trepidation and dread
I sit here alone at night and I cry
They have all decided to not take a side
They have shrunk into the shadows and let our family split
Not come forward to offer advice, take our children to give us some time
Like they could not really give a shit
What point is there in planning a future?
When Iv'e no bed of my own, no income, no lovelife. no sex, no family home and few friends
Who really, really gives a fuck
If tomorrow my now sad existence-ends?
Taking ones own life takes far more courage than people think
It's not something one can do on a whim with no thought
It's something that's done after much consideration and soul searching
When one has looked for all the answers and none have been sought, one comes up short
I deserve far greater than this
I deserve someone looking into my soul and thinking
This man has always given his best to us
Not just when he's happy or come back from a night with friends drinking
Here is a man unselfish with his loving
Kind and supportive and proud of his kids
Considerate in and out of the bedroom
Where are you now when my life's hit the 'skids'?
So although I have screamed out with pain when alone
And I know that some would never forgive me
Alone and poor and beaten I will die
Nobody wanted to come and be with me
Ain't had a good nights sleep in ten weeks
Haven't made love for longer than that
Yet people think I still owe them something
And have all turned their backs at the 'drop of a hat'
Well fuck you...
And if I do take my own life when I decide
The next time you are all out having fun, making love, getting stoned, at a bbq singing
You could have took me along for the ride