Love in vain (Only you)
I can´t accept this evil fact
That you are not for me
That what I had or hoped to have
Is all that used to be.
I tried and tried and was so brave
I smiled, I bowed – I did
I thought so hard it burst my head
It took my sleep and all the rest
You started to become my goal
And here I cry because I failed
this absurd, faulty test.
I know it makes no sense
And it was in my head
But there were no lies
And no pretend
And still I lost all in the end.
It realy is so hard
To figure it all out
So painful – yes – to understand
I kill this urge to shout!
This hatred wells up in my chest
Cuts my cords and takes my best
My skills to be so nice and pure
My heart becomes so cruel and sour
Is this what love in vain has done
This bitterness – what I´ve become.
For good I get a load of shit
A kick – a punch - a smash – a hit
Revenge oh how I yearn for it.
Cruel is how it cannot be
How I can never find my peace
How absolutely helpless
I am now
I have to serve and bow.
You never wanted things from me
Its me that wanted you
I cannot punish
Cannot hurt when
pain is something
I have given too
It´s just that I can´t bear no more
That every second hurts so much
I wish I could´ve known before
I wish I could forget your touch.
I wish not to be free
To be yours – oh yes – dependantly
Cause it´s not release, freedom, peace
Or any warant
It´s only you
Sara Kehrer ©