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High as the Fallen

Poetry By: Love Reaper

Is this who I am?

Submitted:May 9, 2012    Reads: 6    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   

As I sit here with a snicker higher than the Heavens,
I realize this is but a dream that I've seen of how I desire to be.
But as I went up,
I glanced at the twitch and discovered that there begin the dreadful trip.
And I grew higher with serenity and the bliss became a fear like a televison of all the flashes and memories that morphed together as a brute of all emotions.
Happy, sad, paranoid, sleepy, everyone's out ot get me.
They're all beasts in disguise waiting for me to slip with develish green eyes.
I went higher and almost lost.
So many voices, they whisper, they hear the fear I feared to fear.
But then I stopped and thought, this isn't me.
And I flew down.
This way that I feel, isn't true.
This character that's chracterizing me.... Is all a joke.
And I flew down crashing, crashing, crashing, and I remembered...
That this is what I warned them from.
I became a hypocrite.
A hypocrite letting the demons win and I fell down.
I'm trying to set an example, not just for me, but my little brother too.
For my child, never to be born, them screaming where were you?
And where am I?
Just another one of them in despise?
I'm high but I'm not looking down and the ones that I love can't catch me, nor reach me.
I know I'm fine, but I'm not alright.
I was slipping, and maybe trippin', but I was sitting and I realized that this feel, it's all wrong.
This lie makes me die a little inside.
This isn't me and if it is I don't like her; I want to forget her.
It was all laughs and giggles until it was time to watch the little ones.
I don't enjoy this anymore.
I went too far.
I'm shivering and shaking and the one that I love has seem to forsaken me, who am I trying to be?
I want to be me, that's where I feel free.
The one that I love could have been right with me and I had an epiphany, this isn't how it's suppose to be.
I'm only ok because I flought to him.
It's where I should have been.
I feel the disappointed in me, that I told him eventualy he'd be like me and I looked at myself and said it's not so funny now.
I want to be free,
And that's where I'm destined to be.


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