I don't want to feel how I use to feel,
Be afraid of my own skin.
I don't want to hide or run or stand,
I just want to fall.
I don't want to be who I use to be,
Or who I am destined to be.
I don't want to exist in a setting,
Just from the grounds below.
For today I have learned I am not as smart as they want me to be,
Nor am I as beautiful as I need to be to survive this cruel world.
I don't want to stare in the faces of my enemies.
I just want to be a song,
I just want to be an instrumental full of violins and pianos.
If I break,
I'm fixed and I work just how I was before...
I don't want to be them.
I don't want to be me,
Just leave me alone and let me die of lustful fantasies.
I want to fly,
I want to float,
I want to be one with fire,
I want to be painted in my own red.
I want to taste metal,
Feel it against my skin.
I want to take my pill for old times sake.
I want to breathe through my neck,
I want to see my heart,
I want to learn how to stop breathing.
Today I took an honest look at myself and asked who is going to love me?
Then I realized...