Of all the self hate I have bottled up inside myself for myself,
The most tremendous hate is the hate I have for not being able
To make myself happy.
I rely on other people to feed me compliments (lies) and smiles
So I can live with myself in a minor key of harmony.
I always need someone, anyone, everyone, to show me the good.
I leech the happiness off of others and make myself some dopamine.
This plan works swimmingly until people leave (they always do).
When people leave, because perhaps they got tired of feeding me,
It's as if my core is demolished.
Suddenly, they are no long the gravity holding me down on the Earth.
They are merely someone who used to keep me half sane.
Instead of learning to be happy on my own however,
I choose another host to be my sickly parasite on.
And the vicious cycle continues. ~