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Sorrow...

Poem By: MAmberConrad
Poetry


OHSHCKaori challenged me to write a story/poem with the given relationship and emotion:

Sorrow, Husband/Wife
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Submitted: Jun 20, 2008    Reads: 62    Comments: 10    Likes: 7   


Sorrow
 
She sat in the window,
To watch the rain fall
 
He sat at the kitchen table,
To drink his troubles away
 
Her tears couldn’t fall
Along with the rain
 
His troubles were of his own making
The drink only dulled them
 
She knew he was drinking
While she was sighing
 
He didn’t know why she was sad,
Why she didn’t care anymore
 
She looked away from the rain,
Across the house in the kitchen
 
He put down his drink,
And saw her watch him
 
She wanted to smile,
Wanted to love him
 
He wanted to hold her
Ask her what was wrong
 
Her heart felt a pang,
Wanted to be in his arms
 
He stood
 
She stood
 
Walking to her,
He felt afraid
Of the truth
 
She met him
In the middle
Reluctant


7

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Comments:

Oh this is just sad. It captures the emotion perfectly!! *Cries* How sad.

I love it though. Such real emotion.

Thanks for taking the challenge
~Kaori

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Well, Kaori, thanks so much for an awesome challenge. When you gave me the emotion, plus the wife/husband, I just took events from my real life and put it there.
I'm soooo happy you love this one!!

MA

you did a good job here expressing the pain of alcoholism; the lonliness, the suppression of feelings, although the ending was unexpected I really it. very nicely done MA!
~katie

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah, it was a rather sad poem, hence the emotion was: Sorrow.... I did want a decent ending for it. Thanks, Katie. As always, I love your comments.

MA

i like how you changed POVs like that!
Very great and tells a lot!
Loved it!

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, LeAnne! So glad you enjoyed this one. I decided to do both POV's, to let the reader really into the Sorrow.

MA

A happy ending it seems....I love it. The whole poem flows so well. An awesome piece.

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Maybe not necessarily a happy ending, they try to meet in the middle. With alcoholism, every day can be different. So glad you enjoyed this one, whitehart.

MA

Nice work MA

Posted: Jun 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, Brian.

MA

I like this. Well structured poem.

Posted: Jun 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you.

MA

This met the challenge and then some, MA!!! It stands on its own. You've expressed your deep feelings from within perfectly, creating a heartfelt write!! I love this piece... one of my favorites of yours!

Peace and happiness.....Jerry

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much, Jerry, for such a wonderful comment! I'm so glad I've met the challenge.
The very moment I received my emotion and the relationship, it brought me back in time to a moment in my own life that I can remember. The words spilled out within minutes.

MA

Oh I bet she went even a little further than half way.
Very well done!

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, Peach. Glad you enjoyed it.

MA

This is a beautiful sad poem, intricately written, entwining he and she, and says so much between the lines. I agree with Jerry, one of your very best. I relate to it very well.

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow. Thanks, Anna. Two of you have already said it's one of my best. So glad I can capture you within just a poem.

MA

Wow! This captures so much emotion. Great job!

Posted: Oct 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you so much.

MA



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Other writing by MAmberConrad Nightfall: Haiku Poetry * A Poem For You * Insomnia Good bye, blue skies For Husband and Wife More..



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Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

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